Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-awareness. Show all posts

Monday, 20 September 2021

10 Micro-Habits to Improve Your Life in the Next 10 Days

Microhabits to change your everyday life 

 


21 days is a lot to develop a habit. These micro-habits will change your life in 10 days.

Yousuf Rafi
 

It takes backbreaking work to create a stunning life.

Sadly, people want instant success, instant fame, and instant money. I don’t believe that it takes 21 days to create a habit. No one wants to wait that long. So if you follow these micro-habits from today, you’ll get instant results within 10 days.

1. Learn to say ‘No’ more

Get hold of your hours. Learn to say ‘No’ more. Each day will present you with tons of opportunities, but you must say ‘No’ to most of them to live a peaceful life.

Figure out your priorities and reject everything else. Don’t attend the call when you are talking with the client. Don’t take extra work just because your friend is offering it. Reject the client if you are already working on another project.

Once you start saying ‘No’ to unnecessary things, you’ll automatically say ‘Yes’ to things that matter most to you.

2. Journal every day

Even if you’re not a writer, journaling every day will provide enormous benefits. Whether you have a business plan, new startup idea, an event that changed your life, jot it down with details in your journal. Once you build the habit of writing something every day, your mind will be trained to look for ideas and new insights in everything.

And most importantly, journaling daily will eliminate all your stress.

3. Sit in silence

A normal human has around 6,200 thoughts each day which means 258 thoughts per hour. To make your mind at peace, you need to sit in silence each day for at least 5–10 minutes. If you can, meditate; otherwise, close your eyes and don’t think about anything. If thoughts arrive, let them; don’t fight them.

When you stop controlling your thoughts, that is when your mind will find peace.

4. Don’t react; respond!

Most of us react to things that make things difficult for us. Instead of reacting, start responding to things.

When an event occurs, don’t react; take a step back, think about what outcome you want from the situation, and respond accordingly. For instance, if a co-worker shouts at you, in reaction, you can shout back. But who will benefit from it? Instead, if you think about maintaining a healthy relationship with that person, you will either remain silent or leave. That’s how you respond to a situation and take control of it.

5. Take action, fast!

In her best-selling book The 5 Second Rule, Mel Robbin talks about taking action for things that require less than 5 minutes. Need to reply to an email? Just do it. Have an amazing idea? Write it down. Found a solution while you’re showering, take a break and jot that down.

6. Read a lot

One micro-habit that will change the course of your life is daily reading. Even if it’s an hour or half an hour each day, read everything that helps you grow personally, professionally, or financially.

If reading is too much for you, listen to an audiobook or podcast. Read, listen or watch a YouTube video from TED. For self-growth, reading plays a vital role in your life.

7. Observe your patterns

Instead of blaming yourself for procrastination or unhealthy behavior, notice what prompted you to do so in the first place.

Observe and learn the patterns of your life. From waking up till you lie down to bed at night, notice what prompted you to get angry, what made you happy, and what irritated you throughout the day.

Once you understand yourself, there is a good chance that you’ll be able to do something to improve it.

8. Stop complaining and start doing

No need to enroll in a course to make more money. With a laptop and internet, you can do that all in your home. Watch YouTube videos, talk to experts and join forums that you’re interested in.

If you plan on starting a business, join relevant groups and learn from people who are already successful. Your life will start changing the moment you stop complaining and start executing things.

9. Drink lots of water

Don’t limit yourself to 8 glasses of water. Drink as much as you can. Apart from keeping you hydrated, water helps digestion, stabilizes the heartbeat, flushing bacteria from your bladder, protects organs and tissues, along with tons of other benefits.

10. Begin each day with “What can I change today to make my life better?”

Get out of the habit of “how to get through this day?” and start your day with “How to improve my day today?” Do whatever improves your life. It must get you closer to your goal in life or makes you financially independent.

Start a small business. Pick a side-hustle. Help someone establish a business. Teach someone what you already know.

The good thing about micro-habits is that they are easy to develop. You don’t need long hours to develop it. You can take these habits and add them to your life.

What are the micro-habits that helped you improve your life? Share and let others learn from it.


Thursday, 13 May 2021

You Live the Life You’re Willing to Tolerate

The Life You Tolerate 

 

So stop tolerating less than you deserve

Ayodeji Awosika


“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Why Is a Life You Don’t Want Acceptable to You?

Understand What’s On the Other Side

You’re Much Better Than This

Learn how to become a top Medium writer and make a living writing here — https://bit.ly/freemediumcourse4u


 

Monday, 12 April 2021

When your authenticity is an act, something’s gone wrong

Be Authentic 


 Photo by Ives Ives on Unsplash

 

‘Today, there is little premium placed on being authentic,’ writes the American philosopher Gordon Marino in his moving meditation The Existentialist’s Survival Guide: How to Live Authentically in an Inauthentic Age (2018). In our world of ‘selfies, social media branding, and managing your profile on LinkedIn and Facebook … [i]t is not who you are but who you seem to be!’ In interviews for my own sociological book on everyday suffering and our troubled quest for self-mastery, I too found little premium placed on ‘being authentic’. And yet, organisational consultants inform us, in the pages of the Harvard Business Review, that ‘the term “authenticity” has become a buzzword among organisational leaders’. In fact, authenticity is ‘now ubiquitous in business, on personal blogs and even in style magazines’, according to another writer. ‘Everyone wants to be authentic.’

So, which is it? Is authenticity fading away as a personal ethic or is it something everyone wants to be? In fact, both are true – because the meaning of authenticity is changing.

Authenticity, which in its modern sense dates back to the Romantics of the late 18th century, has never had a single meaning. In much of our everyday usage, the term means something more or less analogous to the way that we speak of an object being authentic – as the genuine article, not a copy or a fake. We think of people as authentic when they’re being themselves, consistent with their own personality and without pretence or pretending. And when they’re being reliable and trustworthy, generally resistant to the whims of the moment or the emotional approval of the crowd. In other words, when they show themselves to be stable and consistent over time and in different circumstances.

But, as an ethical ideal – as a standard of what it is good to be, both in the way that we relate to ourselves and others – authenticity means more than self-consistency or a lack of pretentiousness. It also concerns features of the inner life that define us. While there is no one ‘essence’ of authenticity, as Marino observes, the ideal has often been expressed as a commitment to being true to yourself, and ordering your soul and living your life so as to give faithful expression to your individuality, cherished projects and deepest convictions.

The meanings of authenticity that concern the inner life are now fading away

Authenticity in this ethical sense also had a critical edge, standing against and challenging the utilitarian practices and conformist tendencies of the conventional social and economic order. Society erects barriers that the authentic person must break through. Finding your true self means self-reflection, engaging in candid self-appraisal and seeking ‘genuine self-knowledge’, in the words of the American philosopher Charles Guignon. It means making your own those truths that matter crucially to you, as the Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor stresses, the truths that it’s right and necessary to be true to. In this understanding, the inward turn is not an end in itself. It’s a means to personal wholeness and access to shared horizons of meaning that transcend the self and contribute to a richer, more human world.

The meanings of authenticity that concern the inner life are now fading away. They are not, as Marino suggests, and as I too have argued, consistent with how life is generally lived today. But there is an alternative meaning – an authenticity that is harmonious with our times. Here is a mode of authenticity that we might say ‘everyone wants to be’, because here is the mode that everyone is expected to be.

In his book The Society of Singularities (2017), the German social theorist Andreas Reckwitz argues that a larger ‘authenticity revolution’ has swept the world during the past 40 years. The register of values has shifted, he shows, away from anything standardised and regular and toward objects, images, services and events that are regarded as being unique and singular. Think of artisan bread and craft beer, off-the-beaten-path travel destinations and local diversity, online profiles and Spotify playlists, self-tracking and lifelogging, products with ‘stories’ and spaces with ‘atmospheres’. The list is endless, especially among the educated middle classes. Enormous energy is now directed to making things appear ‘authentic’ – that is, particular and distinctive, standing apart from the typical, the ordinary, the mass-produced. Uniqueness has a social status and value of its own.

The high status accorded to the singular, Reckwitz argues, includes people. Each person is enjoined to stand out from the crowd, to achieve something special and extraordinary. Authenticity has become an obligation. Reckwitz captures this conundrum with the paradoxical concept of ‘performative authenticity’. Authenticity, in this sense, is the way to be because to be ‘somebody’ is to develop your unique self, your differentness from others and your noninterchangeable life. Being merely average or well adjusted, or without a cultivated portfolio of special competencies and attractive qualities, is a mark of failure – a mark of inauthenticity – regardless of your inner life and relation to self.

Performative authenticity is tied to economic success and social prestige, which means – and this is a further paradoxical feature – that your specialness and self-realisation have to be performed. In order for people to distinguish themselves, they must seek attention and visibility, and positively affect others with their self-representations, personal characteristics and quality of life. In doing so, they have to take great care that their performance isn’t perceived as staged. To be ‘authentic’ – genuine – they have to give the impression that they’re just being themselves. The effort has to appear effortless, otherwise it will backfire.

Performative authenticity shares with older, inner conceptions of authenticity the notion that each of us has our own unique way of being in the world. But the concepts otherwise diverge. The inner ideal aims at a way of being that is unfeigned and without illusions. It resists the cultivation of an affirming audience, because being a ‘whole’ person, with a noninstrumental relation to self and others, is often at odds with the demands of society. The benefit is a richer, examined life, but there is always the risk of paying a price for living authentically in terms of lesser social acclaim and outward success. Authenticity thus understood, it’s safe to say, was never a ‘buzzword among organisational leaders’.

In the performative mode, by contrast, this tension between self and society disappears. Self-elaboration still requires self-examination, but not necessarily of any inner or even aesthetic kind (‘life as a work of art’). Something more like an inventory is needed, and some schools of psychology and popular self-help actually recommend that the way to know yourself isn’t through personal reflection, but by convening a focus group of those familiar with your personality, desires and talents – ‘likes’ and other social media feedback serve this purpose. Useful personal traits are cultivated in interaction with the appropriation of unusual or unusually combined objects, experiences, styles and identities – a rare breed of dog, special cooking techniques, the obscure knowledge of sneaker brands, an offbeat musical style, a novel sexual orientation, and so on. Together, they’re put to work as the basis for composing and curating your unique difference. This difference has no meaning or standing of its own; it only achieves value, only counts as authentic, when it’s socially recognised as such – as original, interesting, complex – and brings esteem and tangible success.

The performative mode is a further flight into atomism and away from stable sources of meaning

Performing your difference isn’t necessarily a zero-sum game. Markets and digital technologies have greatly expanded the infrastructure of possibilities. It is, however, a competition for scarce attention that requires continuous assessment and feedback, and offers little respite. Like fashions, there’s pressure toward the new and the novel, and what was unique one day might be commonplace the next. Even if you pull off a good performance, there’s a need to be flexible, to be ready to reinvent your difference. There’s always the danger of becoming inconspicuous.

Given the sharp dissimilarities, we can see how authenticity might be both in decline (in the inner mode) and in ascendance (in the performative mode) at the same time. The evidence for the decline of one might be a sign of the rise of the other. In light of the performative mode, we can see why Marino sees that authenticity (in the inner mode) is being lost, as seemingly ‘everyone has become their own unabashed publicist’. We can see why, as I found in my interviews, people laid little stress on the need for introspection and faulted themselves, not for being too caught up in the superficialities of society, but for failing to meet its imperatives of success. In conceptualising the practice of the self and its relation to a good life and a good society, the two modes are nearly mirror opposites.

Marino’s book is called a ‘survival guide’ and what we need to survive might be usefully thought of as distorted pictures of authenticity, including corrupted expressions of the inner mode. In his powerful critique The Ethics of Authenticity (1991), Taylor argues that our contemporary culture of self-fulfilment and unfettered choice is built, in part, on ‘trivialised’ and ‘self-centred modes’ of authenticity. ‘Properly understood,’ however, ‘authenticity is not the enemy of demands that emanate from beyond the self’ – demands of society, nature, tradition, God or the bonds of solidarity – ‘it supposes such demands.’ To bracket them off, he continues, ‘would be to eliminate all candidates for what matters’.

The performative mode is, if anything, a further flight into atomism and away from stable frameworks and sources of meaning. But the problem runs deeper, as the demonstration of specialness and optimised self-development are built into the very standards of success. The performative fosters a detached form of self-awareness that potentially measures everything in terms of its strategic value for visibility, recognition and reward. And, knowing the game, it fosters the sceptical sense that everyone else’s actions carry an ulterior, manipulative intent. Just being ourselves becomes a guise, behind which we fashion ourselves to be – in the worldly scale of values – someone who counts.

The performative mode fosters a profound isolation and sense of insecurity. This mode captures many of the normative standards against which the people I interviewed evaluated themselves and found themselves wanting – they weren’t outgoing enough, positive enough, performing highly enough, moving on from loss or defeat quickly enough, organising their intimate relations contractually enough. They weren’t ‘special’, but ordinary – in dread of being labelled ‘losers’. What I found confirms Reckwitz’s claim that the demand to stand out and prove your worth is ‘a systematic generator of disappointment that does much to explain today’s high levels of psychological disorder’.

Taylor suggests that, to confront false modes of authenticity and open a space to consider alternative conceptions of the good, we should remind ourselves of those features of the human condition that show these modes to be empty. A place to begin, following Marino’s guidance, is with the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. Our existential condition reveals itself to us most clearly when our lives have become unmoored, when we come face to face with our vulnerability, our dependence, our limits, the seeming meaninglessness of it all. Just here is where Kierkegaard intervenes. If we want to live authentically – properly understood – there’s no wiser guide.


Thursday, 11 March 2021

How to Make Your Regrets a Source of Strength | Nate Rifkin in The Ascent

Regrets 

 

Regret begets more regret, but gratitude also begets more gratitude.

 

Ever wish you could go back in time and slap yourself?

I do.

In between my first and second year of college, I languished at my mom’s house like a lump of Jell-O that refused to even wiggle.

Three days per week, I lifted weights at a nearby gym. Every evening, I boiled some spaghetti, dumped it on a plate without tomato sauce or cheese, retreated to my older brother’s former bedroom (because it still had a television), and watched a line-up of The Simpsons, Seinfeld, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and some other shows mixed in between. On weekends, I anguished over what I’d watch without the usual weekday lineup and usually found some mediocre movie.

Why was I wasting my life?

I told myself I was waiting. My goal was to create how-to products about fitness and weight training. First, I decided, I had to get more muscular, which could take a few years, but I had the time. As I waited for my muscles to grow, I figured I didn’t have anything to do but work out, eat plain spaghetti, and wait.

My pasta routine didn’t produce the glamorous body I was anticipating. Years later, I’d think about the wasted potential — the wasted time — and wish I could go back to slap myself silly and awaken some semblance of sensibility.

For most of my late-twenties, I worked as a sign-spinner and stood on the corner of the street in front of a store, waving a sign.

Usually, I wore a smock that looked like a big $100 bill. It got so soaked and caked with exhaust fumes, sweat, and grime that it turned grey, peppered with questionable splotches of black. It looked like a billfold that had been shoved through too many vending machines, waved around at too many strip clubs, and rolled into too many straws for snorting coke.

Once, as I waved my sign wearing the nasty smock, a car rolled by and a woman shouted from inside, “You need to clean your uniform!”

I looked down. She was right. During my break, I said we needed a new smock and, the next morning, someone brought over a fresh one. As I pulled it out of the packaging, I marveled at its sheen, the subtle shades of green, and the detail of Ben Franklin’s face.

I strode outside, proud to look like a hundred bucks. The same car rolled by again. The woman looked at me and gave a thumbs-up.

I didn’t always wear the smock. During the holiday season, I wore a Santa Claus outfit.

One day, a woman with a missing tooth walked by and said, “Do you have any idea how many women want to sit on your lap?”

“How many?” I asked.

“A lot!”

Maybe some guys did too. One man in his sixties slinked beside me near the end of my shift and, as he darted glances back and forth, said, “Just about ready to go in?”

“Yup,” I said.

He said, “We’ve, uh, gotten to know each other pretty well, you know?” (We’d had one exchange a few days before.)

“Uh I guess so.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure,” I said.

“What do you think of sex?” He gestured his hands out, palms up — the kind of motion someone would say while exclaiming picture this.

I had no idea how to respond so I said, “Could you be more specific?”

“Well…”

Our short conversation ended with him moseying onward up the street.

One more story:

I often did my sign-spinning barefoot (earthing, baby!) with my shoes sitting off to the side. For a few months, around two in the afternoon, a parade of junior high school kids shuffled down the sidewalk. They usually said nothing — thank heaven for small favors — but, one time, a kid grabbed one of my shoes.

I lunged toward him and reached to get it back. “Get the f*** off my shoe, kid!”

Just as I got my hand on my footwear, he pulled it to his face, took a giant whiff and said, “That smells good, man!”

He let my shoe go and walked on.

“Thank you,” I said, slack-jawed, and chuckled for the next hour or so.

More than once, I counted how many weird things happened to me during that job. Maybe two hundred. That’s two hundred stories. I made ten dollars and fifty cents an hour — and that was after two raises. I had a business I was trying to grow on the side.

Every week, I managed to scrape together $30 to fund my advertising campaigns. I was also trying — but not particularly hard — to get clients who wanted advertising copy written for their businesses.

Why am I saying all this? Because, just like with my spaghetti-eating phase, I look back on this time and I want to slap myself silly.

I was racking up all these stories…why didn’t I write about them?

I never blogged about my stories. It would have been fun, free, and I could have built up an audience. Every story could tie into a lesson about one’s spiritual path, especially the Daoist path (I’m still trying to figure out how to connect that to the retired guy asking me about sex). I could have been writing about my experiences for the past eight years.

Many times, I’ve thought about this and cringed. I regretted the lost opportunity that I just didn’t see.

Ever have regrets about a time when you could have put in just a little extra effort on a project and, as a result, could have transformed the trajectory of your life?

I thought about such regrets this morning while standing in the backyard of an Airbnb in Seaside, California, doing my daily routine of Daoist meditation. My wife and I had just attended a friend’s wedding.

As I trained, another thought popped into my head.

Would I regret not writing stories as a small child, when I was still learning how to draw the letters A, B, and C?

No.

Why not?

Because I couldn’t write stories. Scrawling out A, B, C was the best I could do. I was learning and working on the perfect things to master at that perfect moment, on a longer journey.

Was my time as a sign-spinner any different? Sure, I could berate myself with a big list of things I should have done. I could mentally roll the list into a tube and smack myself as if it were a newspaper and I’d just piddled on the carpet. But what if my time as a sign-spinner was another A, B, C time of growth?

I could hate myself for the years I spent watching hours of television every day.

I wasted time, my youth, and my health. But I learned to value time and train my body in a way that preserves my feeling of youth and health.

So, what’s the proper way to judge my past? Where are the cosmic compasses I can jab into my decision points, twist to draw circles, and measure my life’s worth? Where’s the AI-driven data-aggregator I can feed my moments of arrogance, awkwardness, and dereliction of duty, so it can produce a report of how I can best disparage myself and measure my worth. Is the AI still in development? Has the start-up behind it gone public? Maybe I can invest.

Until the tech is available as an app, I’ll stick to something provocative.

What if I thought of my life’s trajectory as perfect?

What if I thought that, like a cocooned caterpillar, I was developing perfectly for my next stage?

As I stood barefoot in the backyard of my Airbnb, bits of mulch poking between my toes and sun shining on my face and chest, I thought about timing. If I hadn’t done everything just as I had, what breakthroughs would I have later missed?

I continued my morning practice, rhythmically moving my body and feeling energy go through certain organs in my body. I thought about the three things I cherish today — my wife, the Daoist training I practice, and my (now-published and available here) book that I had been putting the finishing touches on.

What if I hadn’t gone through that multi-year rut as a sign spinner? What if I hadn’t screwed up my life before and, as a result, never needed to take that goofy job? What if I hadn’t cocooned myself in front of the television?

Maybe I wouldn’t have met my wife. Maybe I wouldn’t have met my current teachers. Maybe my book, something I’ve nurtured for the past three years, wouldn’t exist.

Now, my time parked in front of a television set didn’t seem so bad.

What if my biggest regrets today were how I avoided being alone? How I avoided getting lost on my spiritual path? What if they were how I avoided getting stuck with a career or business that drained the life out of me? What if going back and “doing things better” would be my undoing?

As I thought about this, I finished my morning practice, stood still for a minute, then stepped through the mulch to the back door. After I settled in the dining room, I wrote this article.

Think of a regret you have — a big, juicy one that makes you shake your head from the anguish you feel.

Now picture yourself as a child, giggling and drooling as you push one of your arms forward, drag a leg behind you, and make little thumps on the floor as you learn to crawl.

Would you yell at that child for not running full speed? Would you be that cruel? No? Then, why do you punish yourself for what you did — or what you didn’t do — when you were still learning and growing?

You still are learning and growing, by the way.

Now think of three things you cherish in your life, right now.

What if your deepest regrets actually helped you create what you now cherish? Let’s say you could wave a magic wand, re-write the past, and remove your regret. What if that also removed that which you cherish? Would you really want to mess with your past, Marty McFly-style? Maybe the result wouldn’t be as dramatic as making you and your siblings disappear but you might be surprised by what you’d lose.

Maybe this isn’t logical. Because of the way life’s actions ripple and crash into each other, splintering possibilities beyond what we can consciously perceive, we can never know what was best for us. Then again, is it logical to steep yourself in regret? Sure, it’s good to learn from mistakes but when we’re feeling crushed by what could have been, are we in learning mode?

When you’re not chained by regret, it’s like finally being able to push your head above the water’s surface, breathe, and see. You’re more likely to make decisions you’ll be proud of. Regret begets more regret, but gratitude also begets more gratitude. Even about our regrets.

After dropping out of college, Nate Rifkin had dedicated himself to self-help and pursuing his entrepreneurial dreams. Yet he failed to achieve any of his goals. Worse, he spiraled into debt, drank every morning, felt lonely, lost, and hated himself.A few years later – after a brutal bankruptcy and a stint spinning signs on a street corner – Nate Rifkin had quadrupled his income, married the woman of his dreams, and found happiness and contentment. He's published a book on how he did it, titled The Standing Meditation. It's now available here.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

Nate Rifkin

Written by

Was bankrupt. Now financially free. Was depressed. Now happy and fulfilled. Was figuring out how to change his life. Now writing how he did it.

The Ascent

Thursday, 31 December 2020

Sensitive people bring a major happiness habit to the workplace – and it’s all to do with empathy

Empathy 


 

 Mimi Thian on social or copy the text below to attribute.

Around 20% of us are Highly Sensitive People – and the emotional awareness that goes hand-in-hand with this personality type is vital to workplace happiness. 

We’re conditioned to think that Alpa personalities get ahead at work. Those who scoot up the career ladder with ease, we believe, are arrogant, loud and directive – in fact, people with psychopathic tendencies are assumed to make better leaders. 

But, at a time when our personal and professional lives are colliding more and more, a more nuanced set of management traits may be called for. And within that scope lies the unsung skillsets of so-called Highly Sensitive People (HSPs).

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A term coined by Jungian psychotherapist Dr Elaine Aron in her seminal book The Highly Sensitive Person, HSP describes a type of person who is highly attuned to their internal and external environments. 

Around 15-20% of the population count as HSPs. According to the UK’s Counselling Directory, the acute sensitivity it brings can present challenges in “our bright and fast-paced society”. For example, “you may find you’re easily overwhelmed, struggle to manage stress and need more alone time to recalibrate”. 

But it’s also a characteristic that comes with a series of key advantages, including a rich inner life, sensitivity to subtleties and emotional reactivity. 

Highly Sensitive People bring vital emotional awareness to the workplace

It’s this last ability that emotional intelligence expert Harvey Deutschendorf picks up on in a discussion about the benefits that HSPs bring to the workplace this week. 

“HSPs are very caring, empathetic, and emotionally responsive to the needs of others,” he writes in an article for Fast Company. 

“Heightened perception, insight, and intuition allow the Highly Sensitive Person to notice nonverbal cues and pick up subtle nuances. Due to a higher level of sensitivity, when HSPs are in the right environment, they tend to thrive and exhibit many valuable workplace traits such as enhanced perception, empathy, creativity, and detail-orientation.”

What this means in real-world terms is that the HSPs are highly attuned to the feelings of others at work – they’ll notice if a team member is down, or they may be able to preempt tension, even without anyone saying anything. 

Only 40% of leaders are only “proficient or strong” in this kind of empathy; and yet research by consulting company DDI found that it is a number one leadership skill.

“My experience with my clients and seeing where they struggled was largely not because of skills or technology, but because of the lack of a culture of empathy that allowed them to do their jobs,” explains the company’s CEO Michael Brenner. “That really got in the way. 

“We think we need to be mean in order to get ahead. But it’s really the opposite,” he added. “It’s the leaders that focus on empathy. It’s the companies that focus on a culture of empathy that drive more innovation and more really frankly, rewarding careers for the people that work there.”

Only around 40% of leaders possess empathy skills

The DDI report found that empathy is a critical driver of management performance; and given the close relationship of happiness and productivity, this makes a lot of sense. 

If your manager is able ask the right questions about how you are doing and the challenges that lie in your way, you – along with you entire team – are more likely to feel appreciated as a result. 

“I think my lack of ego has made me a better manager and team player,” says digital manager Josie.* “I always make a point of celebrating everyone’s achievements (rather than singling out my own). I’ve been thanked by employees for my empathy and understanding, and my trustworthiness and willingness to help out means I’ve made some excellent friends over the years, too.”

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Not only does higher levels empathy bring happiness to the workplace, it’s also a channel of happiness in and of itself. 

A 2019 study from the University of Oulu in Finland found that compassion was linked to a greater sense of wellbeing, a more positive mood, stronger social connections and increased life satisfaction.

So the next time you worry about being “too sensitive” in the workplace, remember that sensitivity comes with a powerful sidekick of empathy. And that will benefit everyone.

Images: Getty

*Names have been changed

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Saturday, 27 June 2020

This 4 Minute Exercise Can Seriously Boost Your Self-Awareness

Exercise






If you’re going to audit anything, start with yourself

Jun 24 · 4 min read


If you’re going to audit anything, start with yourself

“You’re making things harder than they need to be. Stop thinking so damn much. You need to start a ‘Love / Hate’ list.”

Don’t mess up the endgame

“If you’re a hot air balloon, you’ll fly a lot higher if you focus on dropping the weight that is holding you down instead of adding heat to the balloon.” — Conor Neill.

Be careful, you may end up with a journaling habit


Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

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Co-creator of 2 little boys with my dream girl - Career Coach featured in Fast Co, Business Insider, Inc — say hi @ www.linkedin.com/in/mikethompsonblog

Sharing our ideas and experiences.