You Should Spend More Time Doing Nothing — That’s When You Actually Grow

Better Living 

 

 

“Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.”

Alan Trapulionis

Sep 24 · 4 min read

Naval Ravikant may not be a billionaire, but he is successful by my standards. Why? Because, at 47, he smiles more than my 7-year-old brother.

Naval has had a pretty busy life. He’s the founder and ex-CEO of AngelList, reportedly a $100+ million company. He has invested early stage in over 200 companies, including Uber and Twitter. And yet, after an intense career in Palo Alto, the man remains a beacon of inner peace and common sense.

One question he asked completely annihilated my understanding of mindfulness:

“If you’re so smart and capable, why can’t you figure out how to be happy?”

The founder says it’s hard, nowadays, for him to be around other people. Or, rather, it’s hard for them to be around him. See, they’re not used to a person who is always smiling.

You have 4,906 unread emails.

My summer was pretty exhausting. Not because I accomplished a lot — but because I was always doing something. I wake up, I brush my teeth, I eat the sandwich, I get to work, I call a friend, I watch a show, I go to sleep.

I made zero progress this summer. I didn’t advance in my career. I didn’t create anything remotely interesting. I didn’t form any lasting relationships. I didn’t even have any life-changing epiphanies. It was all just a series of things that I did. It all feels like a boring dream I’m about to forget.

Naval Ravikant spent his summer differently. In fact, he lives his entire life differently.

“I almost hate calling it meditation. […] It’s literally just walking around.”

What does Naval understand that I don’t? Why does one of my heroes spend time deliberately doing nothing, “paying attention to his own thoughts?”

I decided to copy his approach. I deliberately made time in my day when I’m doing absolutely nothing. The rule was I’m allowed to drink tea or listen to music, but I’m not allowed to do anything “productive,” “useful”, “educational” or “entertaining.” No breathing techniques, just idleness.

The results were very interesting. It was weird and uncomfortable at first, as you could expect. My brain was constantly looking for a way to distract itself. I think I started reading the bread label at one point. It has quite a bit of sugar, if you didn’t know.

But then, something magical happened. For the first time in a long time, I started having thoughts. Not procedural instructions. Not plans. Not dreams. Thoughts. Words, glued together, forming a dialogue. I could hear it again.

I could feel my brain working, too. In fact, it was working much harder than it’s used to during work hours. Even when I wasn’t thinking anything, the engines were buzzing.

Naval compares this process to clearing out your “mental inbox.”

“When you grow up, all this stuff happening to you in your life. And some of it you’re processing, and some of it you should probably think more about, but you don’t. It’s like your email inbox, piling up. Email after email after email.”

He’s not just talking about unprocessed trauma. He’s talking about unprocessed stuff. Stuff that forms your judgements and fuels your motivations. Stuff from 20, 30 years ago that drives your choices today.

The only way to clear out your inbox, Naval says, is by “doing nothing” and simply letting your mind flow.

He calls it “self-therapy.” Instead of paying a therapist to listen to you, you act as your own therapist. Eventually, you answer all of the “emails,” catch up to reality, and achieve a state of calm and clarity.

Of course, it’s dangerous to link subconscious mechanisms to tangible results. We don’t know how it all works down there. But I am now convinced that humans were designed to spend a significant part of their lives completely alone with their thoughts, unstimulated. Doing the contrary is the equivalent of depriving yourself of an essential nutrient.

Harry Styles won’t save you

We’ve become obsessed with breathing techniques and narrated meditation apps, but perhaps we’re missing the key lesson of two over-stimulated decades: less is more when it comes to your to-do list.

Productivity means you’ll finish an article quicker. Mental clarity means you’ll know what to write, and whether you should write at all.

Productivity means you’ll get home sooner. Mental clarity means you’ll get home happy.

Productivity means you’ll squeeze an extra workout into the week. Mental clarity means you’ll feel relaxed, energetic and radiant by default.

Productivity (usually) means you’ll do 10 hours of mediocre work. Mental clarity means you’ll do 1 hour of extraordinary work.

Productivity might burn you out, so you’ll ask Harry Styles to narrate you a bedtime story to fall asleep. Mental clarity means you’ll fall asleep when it’s time.

Productivity is the “how” of the “how.” It’s a mechanical problem of how to get somewhere faster. Mental clarity is the compass showing you where you’re supposed to be going.

I’m not saying productivity isn’t important. I’m saying it’s not the answer. Not for your happiness, not for your performance. Because, as Naval put it,

“We live in an age of infinite leverage. Your actions can be multiplied a thousand-fold, either by broadcasting a podcast, or by investing capital, or by having people work for you, or writing code. Because of that, the impacts of good decision-making are much higher than they used to be.”

Written by

Alan Trapulionis

In quest of understanding how humans work.

How the Physical Body Holds Mental Tension

Tension 

 

The connection between mind, body, posture, and stress

Tami Bulmash

 

 Photo by Dylan Sauerwein on Unsplash

 

If you’ve ever endured a nerve-racking situation followed by a throbbing noggin, it wouldn’t seem far-fetched to connect one with the other. Nearly one in four adults reports experiencing multiple headaches every year in the United States. The World Health Organization estimates 50% of all adults have at least one headache annually. Though there are over 150 types of headaches, tension headaches are the most common and often triggered by stress. Yet while doctors might agree the two can be linked, they still don’t understand exactly how.

Brian Cole, MD, an orthopedic sports medicine surgeon at Midwest Orthopaedics at Rush and a professor of orthopedics, anatomy, and cell biology at Rush University Medical Center, agrees with this sentiment. “The exact reason why stress creates headaches is still unclear. One theory is that muscle tightness in the neck and head, which can reflexively increase with stress, results in dull tension headaches.”

It’s reasonable to presume a relationship between a headache and stressful thought exists because of where the brain is located. Since thoughts tend to be associated with the mind — which is often synonymous with the brain — they all appear to reside in the same place. However, the farther down pain travels in the body — further distancing itself from the head — the murkier the relationship between thoughts and tension becomes.

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When pain is felt, it’s usually assigned to a specific body part. Localizing pain to a certain region inadvertently disconnects it from the rest of the body, thus making its origin harder to pinpoint. For instance, there is a low likelihood a medical doctor would suggest the onset of torticollis, a form of neck strain, is the result of ruminating thoughts. Linking kyphosis, or hunchback, with depression sounds even less plausible. But are connections like these really so hard to believe? Not according to Erik Peper, PhD, a professor of holistic health studies at San Francisco State University.

The manifestation of thoughts in the body

In his study, “How Posture Affects Memory Recall and Mood,” Peper illustrates how thoughts and body tension are interrelated. Participants were asked to recall negative memories while sitting in slouched and upright positions. They were told to do this again, but this time to think of positive memories. Peper’s research found that 86% of participants reported it was easier to access negative memories when collapsed than upright, and 87% of participants said it was easier to access positive images while erect than hunched over.

Peper explains, “If you are in a collapsed position, I think almost everybody finds it harder to access or be really involved in a positive memory and vice versa. When you’re in the upright position, it doesn’t mean you can’t have negative or hopeless thoughts. However, if you keep that opposition — as if you’re slightly removed from the emotional impact, once you’re in the upright position, it’s easier to access the more empowering and positive thoughts. Because thoughts and body are not separate.”

The evolutionary patterns of posture are described in Peper’s book, Tech Stress, where he examines the prevalent symbols of power throughout evolution. “A depressed or collapsed posture is a universal symbol of constricted posture in both humans and animals. In nature, throughout the animal kingdom, collapsed posture indicates submission. On the other hand, erect posture universally indicates leadership.”

But don’t get too excited about straightening your back just yet. There is a difference between sitting tall — which connotes length — and sitting straight. The latter has become a well-known way to command sitting correctly. Thoughts evoked by picturing a “straight” back might resemble a soldier pose, the most common depiction of what “standing up straight” looks like. Yet, if the images associated with a straight back were truly congruent with alignment — or balance for that matter — good posture would not be analogous to a fixed and tense figure.

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Could the way you’re aiming to hold your body be making pain worse?

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The power of habit

The desire to perform activities successfully is a deep-seated norm. “Sitting up straight” is the perfect example of how people may unwittingly arch backs, lift chests, pull back shoulders, and tighten necks — namely contort their bodies — in a strained attempt to do it the “right” way. Because the alternative — collapse — represents defeat.

A century-old method known as the Alexander technique was developed upon the principle of unknown habits. The founder of the technique, F.M. Alexander, was a Shakespearean actor who repeatedly lost his voice during performances. He thought he was doing everything right, yet his problem only worsened.

Alexander sought the aid of medical professionals to fix his problem but to no avail. He came to wonder if perhaps it was something he was doing to himself that caused his laryngitis. He learned that once he stopped repeating certain habits — such as standing soldier-like while performing — his voice returned. More importantly, he discovered the self-imposed pressure to perform successfully resulted in tense and tight positioning that constricted his breathing and voice.

The next time you sense the slightest tinge of stress — whether you’re running late or feeling angry, frustrated, or generally inadequate — just pause. Take note of what is happening in your body. Catching that moment is key.

Common contributing stressors

Wanting to succeed in life is part of human nature. Social comparison theory tells us that individuals determine their own worth based on thoughts of how they stack up against others. Yet, comparison doesn’t always lead to self-improvement. For example, social media has made measuring up seem impossible as it takes a considerable toll on self-esteem and can lead to depression.

In addition to the pressure of achieving or maintaining success, Americans are notorious workaholics. They work long hours, take few vacations, are more likely to work at night or on weekends, and feel pressured for time. It’s no wonder Americans are among the most stressed people in the world.

Beret Arcaya, a master Alexander technique teacher and the founding member of the American Society for the Alexander Technique, describes this as a “habit of thoughts.” She says this is something we do with our brain and we don’t have to. “You don’t have to be on that rat race. You really don’t. But you’ve got to get conscious of when you’re doing it.”

The way you react to each situation is a choice, though until that choice is realized, the reaction remains a habit. When it comes to lack of time, Arcaya explains, “You have to say, ‘Ah, I was just thinking that way again — I don’t have any time, I don’t have any time, I don’t have any time!’ Wait a minute. Stop and feel what happens to your breath.”

Arcaya tells her students there may never be enough time, but that’s fine. There might even be a way out of the rat race if you don’t react to it. She says, “Don’t even argue with the habit. Don’t even argue with ‘I don’t have enough time, or I didn’t have time today.’ It will make you stay in the moment, and that will elongate the time.” In other words, wait before responding to a stressful thought because that delay keeps you in the present.

Psycho-physical pain

Having taught the Alexander technique for over 40 years, Arcaya is no stranger to human behavior and how habits present themselves as tension. A renowned teacher, people come to her when they have exhausted all other options to ameliorate their pain.

One such woman came to her after suffering for years with terrible neck pain. Doctors couldn’t find a way to help her. They didn’t consider her stress level even though thoughts of neglect, abandonment, betrayal, and loss consumed the woman’s life. She developed a wrenching spasm of the neck called torticollis shortly after the passing of someone beloved to her.

Arcaya recalls it was way beyond a stiff neck, the woman was essentially trapped in her pain. The pain made it impossible to eat or walk properly, forcing her to walk sideways. It seemed the woman couldn’t face the events of her life. Her head was turned away, and the tension locked it there. It was as if it was all too much; she couldn’t even look at it.

When asked if she believed thoughts could directly impact the body, Arcaya responded, “Thoughts and the way you think — and the whole way you are when you are thinking — is your body tension. It doesn’t impact it; it is it.”

See it to believe it

As past president of the Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, Peper is an established biofeedback expert. His work focuses on training individuals to learn awareness and gain control of body functions through the aid of electromyography (EMG). During a treatment, biofeedback sensors are attached to the skin to measure the body’s biological signals that are shown as feedback that informs and assists in health improvement.

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The psycho-physiological principle asserts that “every change in the physiological state is accompanied by an appropriate change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, and conversely, every change in the mental-emotional state, conscious or unconscious, is accompanied by an appropriate change in the physiological state.”

Another study led by Peper, who was instrumental in establishing the first holistic health program at a public university in the United States, recorded physiological signals demonstrating the mind-body connection.

A 25-year-old participant who had been playing the piano for 16 years was asked to relax and then imagine playing a musical piece in a series of intervals. Muscle activity was recorded from her right forearm extensor muscles and displayed on a large screen so that other group participants could observe. Each time she imagined playing the piano, the forearm extensor muscle tension increased, even though there was no observed finger and forearm movements. The physiological monitoring showed how her body responded to “playing” only in her thoughts. When recordings of her movement were shown later, she reported being completely unaware of activating her muscles — especially since her forearm appeared to stay in a relaxed position.

If the mere conscious thought of performing an activity (such as playing the piano) can evince body tension, what can be said about the impact of unconscious thinking? This begs the question of what might happen to the body with repeated thoughts of anger, resentment, and hopelessness — or with thoughts of kindness and love.

What you can do (or not do) about your thoughts

According to Arcaya, thoughts don’t have to become tension. She says, “We’re always directing ourselves. We don’t realize it a lot because it is subconscious.” She notes that direction provides a purpose toward a goal that serves to guide or motivate. “To have conscious direction is to take agency over your life. It’s to have self-possession. To take your energy and decide what you will and what you will not do.”

When thought is attached to an expectation and the outcome is unmet, the reaction will translate into tension. That is unless the habitual response is recognized first. The next time you sense the slightest tinge of stress — whether you’re running late or feeling angry, frustrated, or generally inadequate — just pause. Take note of what is happening in your body. Catching that moment is key. Pay attention to your thoughts. Giving yourself even 10 seconds to pause might allow you to substantially calm your nerves and prevent you from going down a familiar spiral that could lead to stress and pain.

Albert Einstein famously said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” A habit can only be changed if it is recognized. Then it’s up to you to make the choice of which direction you choose to take. You could repeat the same habit and get the same outcome or pause and see if a new path presents itself. Who knows, you might even bypass a headache (or two or three or 20) along the way.

Tami Bulmash

I write and teach about the mind-body connection and its relationship to health and well-being. More at https://www.bodyandposture.com/

12 Tiny Changes To Help You Get Your Life Together

Update your life 

 

by Kirstie Taylor

 

 

 Photo by Jude Beck

 

“Life together” feels kind of subjective, right?

What makes you happy won’t be the same as what makes me happy. One person could strive off climbing the corporate ladder while you could be thrilled working at your local coffee shop.

So no, this won’t be a generic guide on how to make your life fit into the stereotypical mold of what society deems “the dream.” This article is to help you live a life that’s authentic to you in the most effective way possible.

Because, if we’re honest here, without a little effort and organization, life can quickly get ahead of us. We can feel lost in the chaos. Like we’re barely treading water instead of flowing with the current.

That’s because life is an unpredictable journey. You can’t prepare for what you don’t know is coming. But what you can do is set yourself up for the best possible chances for success.

With a few tiny changes to your habits, you can feel like you’re floating with life rather than fighting against it. You can finally “get your life together” in ways that feel authentic to you.

What are those tiny changes? Let’s dive into them based on the different aspects of your life they can help:

Mental Health

Write things down.

We’re said to have at least 12,000 thoughts a day. Numerous studies show our thoughts affect our reality and, therefore, our mental health.

If you don’t take inventory of your thoughts, they can slowly eat away at your happiness. Once you feel consumed by self-criticism, doubt, and negative thoughts, it’s hard to accomplish much of anything, ever.

So I pose to you this: start writing your thoughts down. It can be as simple as a few stream-of-consciousness sentences in the morning. Or perhaps you journal what you’re struggling with most. Maybe ever start a gratitude practice to bring some positivity into your life.

Stop wasting time on things that don’t add to your life.

You don’t need to say yes to everything, plain and simple. In fact, agreeing to every plan that comes your way may make you feel like you’re less connected to your life, simply because others dictate your schedule.

It’s OK to say no to your co-worker’s holiday party. You can let your friend know that you can’t make it to their gender reveal party because you need to take that day on other things.

Once you stop allocating your time to everyone but yourself, you can finally do the things that feel like they’re piling up, like building that Ikea nightstand that’s been sitting in your room for months.

Or simply relax. Sometimes, we all need a day off to unplug, disconnect, and do whatever we please.

Reflect more.

If you don’t reflect on your life, you’re bound to make mistakes or choices that hurt you over and over. What brought you to the point you’re currently at is the culmination of your past.

So when was the last time you learned from it?

I changed my love life by taking note of what went wrong in my relationships. I found a career I love by considering how much fulfillment I felt in my past jobs. I worked through bouts of depression by making peace with painful memories.

But I wouldn't have accomplished any of that had I not taken the time to reflect on how my life had gone thus far. The same applies to your situation. If you want to feel like you’ve got your life together finally, consider what lessons you can learn from the life you’ve already lived.

Work

If you want to make moves, make plans.

I mentioned above that I changed careers. And that wasn’t even the first time. I’ve changed careers twice in the short time I’ve been alive.

But let me be clear: I wouldn’t have been able to make either of these changes without a plan. I took a coding course to gain that skillset, and I worked as a nanny until I made enough money from writing that I could do it full-time.

If you want to make big moves in your professional life, you need the stepping stones to get there. Sit down, plan those out, and then move forward towards something more rewarding for you.

Eat the frog.

I came across this term when my friend and fellow writer,

Eva Gutierrez

, posted it on Instagram. When you wake up each morning, start your day with the hardest or most annoying thing on your to-do list.

When you’re hung up on the things you need to do but don’t want to do, you’re more likely to procrastinate. That scroll through Instagram becomes a scroll through TikTok, which somehow ends up with you binge-watching The Office.

See what I’m getting at? When you tackle the hardest parts of your to-do list (or life in general), you feel more motivated to accomplish other things rather than putting them off.

Make schedules the night or week before.

Whether this applies to your full-time job, side hustle, or fledgling career aspirations, save yourself some time and headache; make schedules. There’s nothing that eases my foggy morning brain, like knowing exactly what I need to get done that day.

If you find it hard to start your mornings or don’t know how to organize your days to fit in all your goals, adopt the idea of schedules. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy complicated. I keep mine in the Notes app on my phone.

That way, each morning, you’ll be able to hit the ground running, rather than feel overwhelmed by having everything and nothing to do.

Physical Health

Get more sleep.

When you’re deprived of sleep, you’re in a worse mood, make crappier decisions, and your memory is impaired. It’s not a badge of honor to boast that you only slept four hours; it’s shooting yourself in the foot.

Prioritizing my sleep is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. At the very least, I know that being cranky and exhausted won’t be an issue when I’m enjoying life and working through my goals.

Experts suggest getting an average of 8 hours of sleep per night. Begin prioritizing your time in bed and watch your overall mood about life begin to change.

Use the Pomodoro Technique.

The fact that humans sit for hours and hours during the time they’re awake is slowly killing us all. But I understand to an extent; most of us have to sit to get our work done.

But what you can control is how long you sit. So I want to introduce to you the Pomodoro Technique. The method is used to instill a sense of urgency in people to improve productivity, but I want you to implement it to improve your health.

Every 25 minutes, stand up and stretch. If you can, walk around your apartment or work desk. The goal is to break up how long you sit for, rather than being slumped over in a chair for hours of your day.

See a doctor.

You know that ache in your back you’ve been having for months? Or that mole you’ve been meaning to get checked but are too afraid to? Or the fact you feel dizzy easily when you stand up?

It’s finally time to stop putting it off and see a doctor. Part of getting your life together is being in your best physical health. But you can’t do that if it’s been years since you last saw a doctor, dentist, etc.

Scheduling an appointment is essentially eating the frog of your over-arching life to-do list. Once it’s over, you’re going to feel a lot more at ease.

Relationships

Talk about your feelings more.

There will never come a day when you’ll regret learning how to talk about your feelings with those closest to you. You’ll strengthen your relationships and move through any resentments that might be lingering.

You’d be surprised how much more fulfilling your relationships are, friends and family included, when you can talk about deeper things than what’s been going on with sports lately. Or the fact you’ve been “fine” whenever someone asks how you’ve been.

So the next time you’re talking with someone, don’t shy away from speaking up about your experiences and how people affect you. Sure, you might be met with some resistance at first, but it’ll be better for all your relationships in the long run.

Learn better conflict skills.

Everyone argues, plain and simple. In relationships. In families. At work. Between co-workers.

But when you learn better conflict skills, you can take a disagreement from a full-out fight to a constructive argument. Plus, your relationship with that person will sustain less injury from doing so.

This looks like learning how to communicate issues without name-calling, deflecting blame, or belittling someone. It’s learning to solve problems with a team mindset, rather than pitting yourself against everyone.

Listen with intent.

How good are you at listening to people? I’m not just talking about hearing what someone says. I want to know how much you process, understand, and empathize with the people in your life.

Because not many people do this.

Between having our attention span glued to our phones and always wanting to get the next word in, not many people have solid listening skills. You’ll strengthen the bond with people closest to you when you learn to silence distractions and listen with intent.

When you start implementing these tiny changes into your life, you’ll start to notice a domino effect. Improving your health makes you a better friend. Being a better friend helps your mental health. Your mental health improves your work-life. And so on.

These might be tiny changes, but they’re powerful. Because, with only one life to live, there’s no better time to get it together in a way that feels authentic to you, then the present.

Practice These 10 Tiny Habits Every Day And Watch Your Entire Life Change

Little Things to Change Your Life 

 

 Photo Lala Azizli on Unsplash

 

Nicolas Cole

Nov 10, 2020 · 5 min read

I am a firm believer in the power of positive habits.

It’s so easy to point at the clouds and say, “This is where I want to be.”

Anyone can do that.

The challenge is to get your hands dirty and do what you need to do each and every day in order to turn those dreams into a reality.

1. Keep your first promise of the day.

The first promise all of us make to ourselves every day is what time we’re going to get up.

And you know what? A large majority of us break that promise.

The alarm goes off. You hit snooze. And without even meaning to, you’ve already started the day on the wrong foot.

You made a promise the night before that you decided not to keep.

Get in the habit of practicing making a promise to yourself and keeping it.

This is about more than just “waking up.”

This is about the habit.

2. Dress for success.

Look good, feel good.

Part of your morning routine should involve embodying the energy you want to bring into the world.

This has less to do with “looking professional” and more to do with getting yourself in a positive frame of mind.

When you feel comfortable in your own shoes, you carry yourself with a different energy.

It’s the energy that matters.

3. A meditative moment.

Before the chaos of the day begins, take a moment to yourself.

For some, this is meditation.

For others, it might be reading a few pages out of a book, or sitting quietly with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

But take a moment and feel the calm of the day. It will help you later on, should a storm hit (metaphorically).

You’ll think back to these early morning moments of calm and remember that life is full of waves.

It’s all about riding them out.

4. Eat lunch!

So many people underestimate the value of taking a break for lunch — even if it’s just 15 minutes to eat a sandwich.

Personal health is so important to the long game, and if you ignore it, then you’re only setting yourself up for a much bigger problem down the road.

If your schedule is so busy you can’t make time to feed yourself, something is out of balance — and I promise you, it’s not the lunch that’s the problem.

5. An afternoon moment.

How many people take five minutes in the middle of the day to just reflect on where they’re at?

Not too many.

Instead, once our days get started, we push and push and push until we land on our couch at 9 p.m. and say, “Wow, I am exhausted.”

Life is not a sprint. Life is a marathon.

Instead of having only a quiet morning and/or a quiet night, make time to have five minutes of quiet in the middle of the day as well.

If it’s “impossible” to find that, then excuse yourself to the bathroom for those five minutes.

Everyone has to use the bathroom, right?

Whatever it takes, make those five minutes happen sometime in the afternoon.

You’ll be amazed at what five minutes of quiet can do for the rest of your day.

6. Find some free time.

If you’re a driven individual, the concept of “free time” doesn’t really exist.

Free time is more time you can spend working toward your goals.

However, in the long run, this can also produce problems.

Everybody needs time to unwind.

It’s not the length of time that matters as much as the quality of time.

An hour completely detached from your daily grind is much more productive than 5 hours detached in which you mentally punish yourself for “taking a break.”

Free time is crucial, especially for creatives.

Let your mind wander.

Take a step back.

See the forest instead of the trees.

7. Manage your money, don’t let your money manage you.

A lot of stress is rooted in money.

But is it really money’s fault?

Or is it rather our relationship with it?

Take the time to learn a bit about finance and how you can set yourself up for success.

Implement positive habits here and then stick to them.

Put away a chunk of each paycheck to a retirement account.

Put away another chunk to your personal savings. Make purchases within reason.

And then once a month, do a quick review with yourself and look at where your money is being spent.

The more diligent you can be here, the more you will be able to build habits that set you up for the future you truly want.

8. Introduce yourself.

When was the last time you struck up a conversation with someone on the train?

At the grocery store?

In line waiting for your coffee?

You never know who you could meet — and it’s these moments of serendipity that keep life moving in a playful way.

Some of my best business connections I met through random conversations at the gym.

Some of my favorite stories have been the result of deciding to talk to someone new.

Make it a habit to introduce yourself to people who cross your path.

It’s the easiest way to keep life interesting.

9. Explore.

Building off the above, it’s so easy to fall into routines of going to same places, ordering the same dishes, meeting up with the same people.

Make it a habit to explore new things.

If you’ve been wanting to go to that new coffee shop down the street, then go.

If you’ve been thinking of trying a new restaurant, make a reservation.

It’s never going to happen unless you make it happen.

10. Keep a journal and sleep.

And of course, there are two of the most underrated habits in the world — journaling before bed, and then actually sleeping.

The reason I advocate so much for journaling before bed is because it is one of the few moments during the day when all is calm.

This is time that is best used to reflect, see how the day went, see how you feel, see how you can improve for tomorrow and then set your intention.

The other reason it’s crucial to do this right before bed is because it will then soak into your subconscious while you sleep.

If you can make this a habit, then you will find yourself consistently waking up the next day very clear on what you need to do in order to be successful.

You will have just spent a whole night planting those “next steps” into who you are — and when you rise, it’ll be time to get to work.

Sleep is so undervalued.

For a long time, I thought the less you slept, the harder you were working.

And actually, that’s true — less sleep and you will feel like you are the hardest working person on the face of this planet.

But that doesn’t mean you’re working smart.

Seven to seven and a half hours of sleep is the sweet spot. If you can get eight, great. If not, that’s OK.

But do not settle for five or six.

A well-rested mind is far more productive than a tired one (regardless of how much coffee you drink).

Better Advice

Written by

Nicolas Cole

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20 Realistic Micro-Habits To Live Better Every Day

Living Better 

 

Aimed at humans, not gods.

Amardeep Parmar

Dec 5, 2020 · 8 min read

Created by the author

I’m sick of lists of habits that are unrealistic for the majority of people. Even worse is when someone says to wake up at 5 am or run 10 kilometers every day and calls it a micro-habit.

This is not one of those lists.

Each micro-habit here takes one minute at most each day or uses a task most people do anyway. None of them will transform or revolutionize your life but they can help you live a little bit better every day and this adds up over time.

I draw on the research by BJ Fogg in “Tiny Habits” and the Japanese concept of kaizen. When each task is so small it’s hard to skip it so there’s no need for willpower. The beauty of this is after some time it becomes a natural part of your daily routine so you’re acting in your best interests without even realizing it!

I’ve avoided fluffy ideas and stuck to things I have done in my own life where I can find good research backing. Don’t try to do everything on this list at once but pick the ones you think will work for you. Later you can come back for more or create your own to suit your lifestyle. Here we go!

#1. Lie on your back and hang your head and shoulders off the bed for up to two minutes.

In our daily lives, we don’t invert our bodies enough. This little stretch before going to sleep helps to open up the chest and get some blood flowing to the heart and brain. It feels good too!

For people who are hunched over their desk at an office, it also relieves some of the damage.

#2. Turn off autoplay and leave the control and your phone next to the TV.

Streaming services want you to watch more, they want you to be addicted to their service. I used to end up watching 3 episodes in a row when I planned to watch one because I was too lazy to stop when the next episode auto-played.

Turn the feature off and make sure your control is next to the TV so you physically have to get up to continue watching. It gives you a circuit breaker to choose to do something else with your time and move your body.

#3. Add on the cost to your health for any convenience buys.

There are so many things we can buy to make us lazier and make us do less work. Do you really need Alexa to turn the lights on and off rather than walking over to the switch yourself?

Work out how many steps/calories buying the product will cost you and make sure you replace it if you decide to buy. Don’t cut out simple everyday movements to make time to not go to the gym.

#4. Do extra squats whenever you go to the bathroom.

The Chair Test is used by doctors to test functional fitness. If you are young and healthy it might sound easy but it’s a key ability that diminishes as we age and can reduce our quality of life. Modern life means we sit for long periods which can weaken our muscles and make it harder to stand.

This doesn’t mean you need to break your back squatting at the gym. Try sneaking in a few squats whenever you finish in the bathroom. It might only be 10 squats a day but over time, it adds up.

#5. Balance on one leg when brushing your teeth in the morning and the other leg in the evening.

Balance is overlooked until it’s gone. How incredible is it that most of us can go about the majority of our lives and stay steady on our feet? After injuries or with old age, balance can decrease and contribute to painful falls.

The time you can spend standing on one leg is a great indicator of overall brain health too. I sneak balance training into my day by standing on my left leg when I brush my teeth in the morning and on my right in the evening. I wobbled a lot at the start but now I can hold 2 minutes on each leg without a problem.

EDIT: Dan Schmelter, a 75-year-old from Indiana, goes the extra mile. He uses brushing time as the beginning of a stretching routine that he continues after his electric toothbrush pings to say time is up. He varies this every day to keep nimble. Thanks for sharing!

#6. Make sure your butt goes to the back of anywhere you sit.

Despite a decade in martial arts, I had awful posture because of the way I sat when using a computer. The gap I left between my butt and the backrest of the chair weakened my back muscles.

I don’t aim for perfect posture, I only make sure my butt is always flush against the backrest. By doing this, the other aspects of good seated posture feel more natural.

#7. Use mobile websites, not apps.

Here’s a secret, mobile apps are designed to make you enjoy using them as much as possible. It’s good business sense and they want your attention. Yet mobile websites are far more clunky because developers have far less freedom to create a great experience for you.

If you want to spend less time on your phone then choose the poorer user experience. Anyone who has used Instagram’s mobile website will know it’s far harder to become addicted and as an extra win, you don’t receive any notifications!

#8. Follow the 20–20–20 rule.

Surprisingly, humans didn’t evolve to spend half their waking hours staring at a screen. The 20–20–20 rule is simple:

Set a timer for every 20 minutes to look away from a screen for 20 seconds at an object 20 feet away.

Make sure to blink while you are focused on the object in the distance too. While following this rule isn’t a license to spend 16 hours in a computer chair, it can help reduce the strain on your eyes.

#9. Put your phone on airplane mode in another room before going to sleep.

I’m willing to bet 99% of the time, most people don’t get a call in the middle of the night that they needed to deal with urgently. We don’t need to sleep with our phones.

Blue light late at night messes with our body clock and waking up with a need to check your phone instantly screams addiction. Take back control of your mornings by leaving your phone in another room on airplane mode. At the very least you’ll have extra motivation to get out of bed and start your day.

#10. Unfollow accounts that stress you out.

I didn’t have Twitter until this year and I wasn’t ready for the constant outrage. The trending bar at the side is almost always some kind of drama I don’t need to know about.

Several people I followed for their insights used their platform to post rants about dubious information. I did myself a favor and unfollowed people who wanted to enrage rather than inform me. How Twitter sees an event often isn’t how it actually plays out.

#11. Always eat before you go shopping.

Research found people who shopped on an empty stomach were more likely to impulse buy food to meet their cravings. Whatever diet works best for you is what you want to stick to and it’s easier to avoid temptations when your belly is satisfied.

I’ve made the mistake of going shopping just before dinner and coming back with a pack of cookies to eat while I cook.

#12. Take a break after your meal before going for dessert.

It can take 15–20 minutes for our brain to register that we are full as we process our food. If you jump straight into dessert, you’ll only feel the bloating and food coma effects afterward!

#13. Drink water before you eat.

We can confuse hunger and thirst pretty easily and many adults are chronically dehydrated. Try drinking a glass of water before your meal to be sure you’re eating because you are actually hungry.

#14. Leave a glass of water by your bed when you sleep.

You’ve probably heard the drink a glass of water advice when you wake up. But do you do it? Instead, bring the body out of its dehydrated state because there’s already a glass staring at you in the morning when you get up. Put it in front of your alarm so you can’t ignore it.

#15. No sugar in tea or coffee.

We don’t need sugar in tea and coffee. We don’t really need sugar in most places it’s added but hot drinks are one of the few places where we do the deed ourselves.

Most of us get more than enough sugar as it is judging from the diabetes explosion in the western world. The great thing about stopping this sugar habit is your taste buds adjust after a couple of weeks so you won’t miss it.

#16. Wear sunscreen whenever in the sun for long periods.

The cosmetics and make-up industry is booming yet many of us neglect to protect our skin. Even when it’s cold or cloudy, UV rays from the sun can still do damage. It’s not only about having skin that looks youthful but it prevents skin cancer too.

The easiest way is to pick a moisturizer that includes a sun protection factor of at least 30. It’s such a small change, why wouldn’t you make it?

#17. Take vitamin D spray in the winter.

If you live in a country with a cold and dark winter like me, you are probably vitamin D deficient in this period. Vitamin D comes from sunlight naturally and helps regulate the immune system.

I leave my spray next to my toothbrush and it’s near impossible for me to skip even if I’m in a rush.

#18. No screens while eating.

Eating mindfully means you give your taste buds the chance to enjoy your food. It gives our minds much needed rest from being plugged in all the time and helps us work out when we are full so we don’t overeat.

I found this hard when I started doing it, which says a lot about how addicted to my smartphone I was. If it’s the same for you, it should shock you into knowing change is needed.

#19. Every time you go shopping buy a fruit or vegetable you haven’t tried before.

It’s easy to stick to foods we know we like but the human body is designed for a variety of nutritional sources. Modern supermarkets have a huge variety of fresh food available so it’s easy to grab a new one on top of your usual shop each time.

The different colors of vegetables signify different essential nutrients so by mixing things up we reduce our chances of severe deficiencies. As a bonus, you’ll find new healthy foods you like the taste of and can get more of in the future!

#20. Whenever you want to doom scroll, do a minute of deep breathing first.

The average American checks their phone 52 times a day. Yet according to breathing experts like Rangan Chatterjee and James Nestor, we rarely breathe as deeply as we should.

We can pair up our instinct to check our phones with a reaction of taking a deep breath. Before you touch your phone, breathe in for 3 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and release for 5 seconds. This trains us to improve our breathing capability and introduces a delay where there’s a chance we’ll decide we don’t need our phone anyway.

This article has resonated with many people so I’ve formed a structured 30-day challenge if you want to try them out.

Stop telling yourself you are going to start a new impossible habit and pick one or more of these realistic micro-habits. Maybe none work for you but I hope they inspire you to think of your own.

Do you have any more ideas? I’d love to hear them.

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Written by

Amardeep Parmar

Rethinking self-improvement with mindfulness╰☆╮My short newsletter: https://amardeep.substack.com ╰☆╮Writing advice: https://writeyourfuture.substack.com/