5 Things You Don’t Need to Be Happy and Fulfilled

Happiness 

 

 

And the underlying feelings you actually want.

 

 

I agree with the basic criticisms of self-improvement.

You don’t need any of the common goals, status markers, or achievements promoted by the industry. In reality, you don’t even want them. We think we want the goals and material items themselves, but we really want the underlying feelings they provide.

It’s a tricky battle.

On the one hand, you technically don’t need to do anything to feel happy. You could just make a conscious decision to do it. Eastern philosophy teaches this ethos and claims that desire causes suffering.

David Hawkins, the author of spiritual books like Power Vs. Force, said that:

“The person who suffers from inner poverty is relentlessly driven to accumulate on the material level.”

On the other hand, it can be difficult to just conjure up positive feelings out of thin air. Goals and outcomes serve a purpose, too, because you need to grow and evolve to reach certain outcomes.

Let’s take a look at some things you don’t technically need to live a good life and break down some of the underlying feelings that you really want in the first place.

You Don’t Need A Bunch of Money

Research shows that additional happiness levels fall off after about $75,000 a year. I’ve experienced it myself. I’ve moved up several tax brackets in the past five years and the money itself didn’t make me any happier.

I went to the mall the other day. I remember how I used to feel when I couldn’t afford much. I’d walk around and ‘window shop,’ feeling pity and the strong desire to buy what I couldn’t have. When I went to the mall the other day, I could’ve gone on a massive splurge. But I didn’t. I didn’t care. I didn’t want anything.

While money doesn’t make you happy, it does provide a few benefits and it does help you feel certain positive emotions:

• Freedom: Money gave me back control over my time. While money doesn’t make you happy, per se, having more time to pursue the things you enjoy can have a massive benefit in your life.
• Peace of mind: 41% of Americans can’t afford a $1,000 emergency. Money can alleviate your anxiety and lower stress. While I can’t afford a private jet, it feels great to know I can go to the grocery store and buy as much as I need anytime I want. It’s nice to no longer stress about my bills.
• The growth needed to make money: Money is often a byproduct of doing something worthwhile and rewarding like starting a business. How you make your money is just as important as how much you make.
• Addition by subtraction: The main benefit of making money doing what you enjoy is the ability to avoid all the things you don’t want to do — work a job you hate, commute (which has been proven to cause stress), suffer intolerable bosses or hostile environments, etc.

Naval Ravikant provides the recipe for success using money:

“People who live far below their means enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles can’t fathom.”

You don’t need to be filthy rich, but making enough to live on through a profession or business you enjoy can change your life.

You Don’t Need to “Find Your Passion”

You’ve seen the cliches in the self-improvement industry about finding your passion: “Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”

You don’t need to do what you love to enjoy what you do for a living. And passion doesn’t necessarily come from work you love but rather work that you enjoy because you get good at it.

Cal Newport makes this argument in his book So Good They Can’t Ignore You:

“Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”

He also said:

“If you want to love what you do, abandon the passion mindset (“what can the world offer me?”) and instead adopt the craftsman mindset (“what can I offer the world?”).”

Also, there are some other elements of what you do for a living that can lead to happiness and fulfillment without needing to have the passion and ultimate bliss:

• Autonomy: Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us says “Human beings have an innate inner drive to be autonomous, self-determined, and connected to one another. And when that drive is liberated, people achieve more and live richer lives.” Find something that gives you the freedom to create and you’ll be more motivated while you’re working.
• A sense of meaning: You can find a sense of meaning by making $30,000, $300,000, or $30,000,000. How do you get that sense of meaning? You do work you enjoy, work you want to get good at, work that gives you autonomy and a sense of agency, work that makes a positive impact on other people.
• A positive work environment: For some, this could mean self-employment with control over your hours. For others, this could mean finding a company with a culture and values that align with yours. Overall, you want to work in an environment that doesn’t cause needless stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.

You Don’t Need Everyone to Like You

There’s a popular quote:

“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.”

You don’t need everyone to like you. In fact, attempting to get everyone to like you leads to people-pleasing behaviors that cause you to be less likable.

You can’t entirely avoid reacting to the way others perceive you. You’re wired to notice and measure little social status cues because they were critical to your ancestor’s survival. But, you can overcome that wiring and understand that ultimately you decide what people’s opinions about you mean to you.

The best way to get other people to like you is to learn how to like yourself. People are attracted to people who are secure in who they are, independent of the opinions of other people. Ironically, the less you care about whether or not people like you, the more people end up liking you.

Does this mean that you should behave however you want and be rude, aloof, or dismissive? Not at all. You can be kind, generous, and open-minded without needing to pander to anyone in the process.

Some tips for building a positive self-perception instead of what others think about you:

• Do the things you enjoy regardless of whether or not you think they’re ‘cool’ to the outside world — hobbies, career, business ideas, etc.
• Monitor your own relationship with yourself. Catch yourself when you get into patterns of negative self-talk. Take time to journal, meditate, and get a better understanding of your thought patterns.
• Instead of focusing on yourself and what other people think about you, focus on other people. Get curious about their interests. Listen. Focus not on saying the right things to get them to like you, but just having a genuine interest to understand who they are, period.

You Don’t Need (Or Even Want) to Be Famous

A corollary of the above. You don’t need massive levels of status or fame to be successful. We now live in a culture where we measure each other by numbers.

On the one hand, social media is a great place for communication and connection. On the other hand, it can cause us to focus on metrics that don’t matter as much as the substance of the content we put out there.

If you chase status, likes, and engagement to the point you have to become someone that you’re not to get fame, people end up liking the caricature of you, not the real you. Ask many famous people and they will tell you how much of trap fame can be:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” — Jim Carrey

So, what can you pursue if fame isn’t the answer? Pursue building a tribe instead.

Seth Godin, the author of Tribes, put it well:

“The secret of leadership is simple: Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow.”

Do I want every single human on planet earth to read my writing? No. Would I like to have a large audience? Yes. I already do. And I’m most proud of the fact that I have the right people in my tribe instead of having everyone in my tribe. I write about the subjects that fascinate me and also intersect with the interests of certain readers. I want to connect with like-minded people.

That’s what you ultimately want, too. You want to feel like you’re making an impact on others. And you can do that without the whole world knowing your name.

You Don’t Need Your Life to be a Movie

In general, you don’t need to live a magic rockstar, dream fairytale life to feel happy and fulfilled. You could live that way and be happy, but it’s not a requirement.

Again, you really want the underlying feelings behind the glitz and glamour.

What are some of these feelings?

You want a sense of adventure. You can get that without traveling to 70 different countries on a private jet. There are many different ways to live an adventurous life that cost little to nothing.

You want to feel like your life matters. You don’t need a bunch of money and status to do that. If you live in a way that’s aligned and congruent, you’ll feel a sense of meaning. I’ve come across people with tons of money who aren’t aligned. I’ve come across those with ‘humbler’ professions and less money that are completely aligned.

You want a feeling of accomplishment, growth, and the pride that comes from following through with your goals. You can have that with a variety of different goals. I often think of the artisans and little shop owners who aren’t rich but have the satisfaction of knowing they make a living directly from their creative energy.

I don’t know you. I can’t tell you exactly which mixture of inner-work and worldly outcomes will provide the feelings you’re looking for. But I do know that going entirely in one direction or the other won’t help.

Yes, you don’t want to be in a never-ending chase for desire. But you’re also a human being with wants and needs.

At the end of the day, you’re the best person to decide whether or not you’re happy, fulfilled, and successful. Trust your instincts, make wiser decisions as time goes on, learn from your mistakes, seize the day every day. I’m pretty sure you’ll be pretty damn happy.

Ayodeji is the author of Real Help: An Honest Guide to Self-Improvement.

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9 Uncomfortable Truths You Should Accept Early in Life

Life's Truths 

 

 

First, they might hurt. But in the end, they’ll make you happier.

Sinem Günel

 

We all want to know the truth, but if the truth is uncomfortable, we get annoyed and wish we never heard about it at all. The reality is, most people don’t want to face the uncomfortable truths of life, even if they say they do.

They just want to live with their blinds on and avoid as many problems and difficulties as possible.

While this might first sound comfortable, it eventually leads to an unfulfilling and repetitive life.

And in the worst case, denying the uncomfortable truths will make it harder for you to take responsibility and design your own life.

If you constantly choose comfort over courage, you’ll end up being the puppet of others. If you, however, manage to embrace the following truths, you might be able to design an extraordinarily fulfilling life.

You Should Either Have a Partner Who Supports Your Dreams or No Partner at All

Being around people who’re trying to keep you small is painful. And if it’s your partner who’s trying to ignore your dreams, it hurts even more.

One of my best friends has recently been in a relationship where his goals were way more important than hers. He didn’t care what exactly she wanted to achieve or do. All that mattered was that she made it as easy as possible for him to move forward.

If she ever talked about her ambitious career goals, he laughed at her and told her why her dreams were unachievable.

Even though we sometimes can’t choose whether we fall in love or not, we can indeed choose whether we stay with someone.

If your partner is constantly trying to talk you down and discourage you, it’s probably the wrong partner.

A rich relationship should be full of support and encouragement. If someone doesn’t want to see you win, he’ll probably also fail to be by your side when you need him most.

That’s why you should always surround yourself with people who can cheer for you and support you in becoming your best self but who’re also there for you when you hit rock bottom.

Life Isn’t Fair

If you expect life to be fair, you’ll be disappointed.

Shit happens, and sometimes, there’s no reasonable explanation for why things happen or why people do what they do.

Focus on the things you can control and let go of the rest.

Worrying about the things you can’t control is a pure waste of time and energy.

Money Rules the World

No matter if you like it or not — money matters.

The vast majority of the global population spends 40+ hours per week working for money. And they do so for the majority of their life.

Most people hate their jobs, but they have no other choice because they need to pay the bills.

And even though we all spend such a significant part of our lives working for money, most people deny its importance.

But the painful truth is that saying “I don’t care about money.” just makes it worse.

You do care about money because you have bills to pay. The earlier you embrace this truth, the easier your life will be.

Stop denying the power and importance of money and start learning how to use it to your advantage.

Track your income and expenses. Stop wasting your income on useless things. Live below your means. Learn how to use your money, so it works for you instead of against you.

Money isn’t everything, but it certainly makes lots of things easier and more fun.

Just because a relationship has lasted a long time doesn’t mean it’s working.

According to a study from the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, only 60% of those polled reported being very happy in their relationship in 2014.

And even though global divorce rates are soaring, we often overlook that millions of people across the globe don’t leave their toxic or unfulfilling relationships.

But what’s worse is that we often think of the duration of a relationship as an indicator of happiness.

The truth, however, is that millions of people stay in relationships they’d love to leave because they’re used to it.

They think they already invested so much into the relationship and end up being trapped in the Sunk Cost Fallacy, which makes things even worse: They don’t want to end the relationship because they already invested so much time. Yet, nothing changes, and they’re unhappy and dissatisfied. But with each new attempt, they invest even more time and energy, so they become even more attached to the relationship, and the cycle repeats itself for years, decades, or a lifetime.

In the end, both partners end up having wasted way more time and energy than needed, and they’d both be better off by just parting their ways when they first realized there’s a mismatch.

There Won’t Ever Be a Better Time to Start.

Most people waste their lifetime procrastinating instead of living their desired life because they think there will be “a better time to start”.

The truth, however, is that working on your dreams will never be easier, and the best time to start was yesterday.

You never know how much time you have left, and life is certainly too short to postpone the things you’re most looking forward to.

Making a Wrong Decision Is Better Than Making No Decision

When was the last time you struggled to make a decision?

This morning when choosing what to wear?
Last night when deciding what to eat for dinner?
Or last week when you had to make a significant decision that could shape your entire life?

Whatever it was, I bet it wasn’t long ago and that you’re struggling to make small decisions every day.

And it’s not even your fault.

With endless possibilities, opportunities, and choices than ever before, it became significantly more difficult to decide.

A few decades ago, you could order a black coffee, coffee with milk, and decide if you wanted to have sugar. Today, you can spend half an hour reading the menu of Starbucks.

And that’s still only one of the most insignificant choices of our lives.

Most people are so afraid of making a wrong decision that they don’t decide at all. They end up being trapped in analysis paralysis and waste a significant part of their life thinking about their decisions instead of just taking action.

But here’s the painful truth: Overthinking isn’t productive. It’s just a form of procrastination because you’re afraid of making the right decision.

You Only Get Stronger by Doing Hard Things

Staying in your comfort zone and doing what you’ve always been doing sounds appealing, yet, it’s exactly why you might be failing to move forward.

If you only do things that feel easy, you’ll end up living an ordinary life and fail to turn your ambitious goals into reality.

Achieving something worthwhile always takes courage, discipline, and risks.

Doing the easy things will never lead to satisfaction. Doing the hard things, however, isn’t easy, but it’ll ultimately be worth it.

Nobody Is Flawless

…and if someone pretends to be perfect, you need to be extra careful.

We all have flaws and make mistakes. That’s what makes us human and what makes life so interesting.

Yet, one of the biggest strengths is to be self-aware and reflect on your faults.

If someone pretends to be perfect and can’t ever talk about his weaknesses, it’s a sign that he lacks self-awareness. These people constantly tell you what you are doing wrong but fail to see their own mistakes.

Social media is stealing your time and energy (but it doesn’t have to)

Social media isn’t bad. Most people just don’t know how to use it and become its victim.

You can decide whether you use social media to make your life better or if you end up wasting your time scrolling through useless posts.

You can decide whether you are a creator or a consumer of content.

Being a creator is fulfilling, energizing, and can even be profitable.

Being a consumer, however, will cost you time, energy, and probably even money.

The #1 goal of every social media platform and website is to keep you glued to your screen for as long as possible. It’s up to you to break that cycle and use technology to your advantage.

Final thoughts

Life isn’t always easy, but it’s good.

Even though you might be facing challenges and difficulties, it’s a privilege to be alive.

If you can stop chasing shiny objects and focus on the few things that actually matter, you can indeed live a simple and good life.

Keep in mind that nobody really cares about you or your problems and that you’re the only one responsible for the life you live.

Make sure you’re surrounded by people who support your dreams (or at least don’t put you down).

Keep in mind that money matters, and make sure you don’t waste it.

Avoid staying close to people just because you’ve already been close to them for a long time.

Don’t expect life to be fair. Create your own rules.

Don’t forget that making quick decisions is always better than making no decision.

Start as early as possible.

Do the hard things, so you can become more experienced and stronger.

Don’t believe in anyone being perfect. We all make mistakes.

Use social media to make your life better and richer.

The more time you spend ignoring certain truths, the more time you ultimately waste. Allow yourself to break that cycle and embrace the truths that might first be a little painful. In the end, it’s those truths that’ll help you live a rich life.

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Personal Growth

Sharing our ideas and experiences.

• Personal Growth
• Personal Development
• Self Improvement
• Advice
• Life Lessons

Written by

Sinem Günel

I help non-fiction writers build a 6-figure online biz and create a life they love. ⚡ Grab your free Framework: https://bit.ly/fbaframework I IG: sinem.guenel

How to Gracefully Turn Down Plans You Can’t Afford

Housekeeping 

 

 Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Learning to respect money

At age 5, Otegha Uwagba immigrated with her family from Nigeria to London. She went on to get a scholarship to a top private school and then attended Oxford. By her early 20s, her financial life looked great on paper — she had a well-paying job in advertising and a promising career ahead. But she also suffered from a great deal of anxiety over money, and struggled to talk about it with her friends, most of whom were from wealthier backgrounds. She writes about those experiences in her new memoir, We Need to Talk About Money, which comes out today in the U.K. Here, she offers advice on becoming more financially transparent with friends, overcoming social taboos over money, and how to cope with expensive social plans as we emerge from the pandemic. 

In your new book, you write a lot about your own money anxieties, especially growing up without much money but going to school with lots of people who were quite wealthy and could afford to do stuff that you maybe couldn’t. How did you learn how to be up front about what you were and weren’t comfortable paying for?

 
I never really talked openly about my financial anxiety with friends until recently. I figured it out mostly as I was writing the book. I realized that in order to explain my money story to other people, I first needed to understand it for myself. I started reading about Brad Klontz, and learning about his money scripts, and I realized that I was what he calls “money vigilant” — that was mind-blowing for me. Because up until that point, I thought it was very rational that I was anxious about money, even though I was technically good with it. I’ve always been very financially literate, but money still made me feel panicked. I couldn’t really make sense of it. And then I’ve discovered that clearly I’m not alone in that, which was really helpful for me in being able to counter that anxiety.

You’ve written a lot about how to create boundaries with friends around what you’re willing to spend, socially. How did you get good at that? I still find it so awkward.

 
It wasn’t until my late 20s that I felt comfortable saying no to friends when it came to spending money. Initially I would make up excuses. I’d say, “Oh, I’m not feeling well,” or “I don’t want to go.” I think the confidence to be honest is something that comes with age, and knowing yourself more but also knowing that your friendships aren’t dependent on being able to keep up financially.

I remember the first time I did say something. A friend was having a big good-bye lunch because she was leaving the country. And I just didn’t want to spend money on that lunch, but I did still want to be part of it. So I just said, “Hey, I can’t quite afford lunch, but can I come and meet you after?” Because I knew they were congregating in somebody’s house later. I was like, “Can I just come to that? I still want to say good-bye.” And she was so chill about it. I was like, “Why haven’t I done this sooner?” People don’t respond as badly as you might think. And the people who do aren’t people you want to be friends with. It’s actually also a really good way of filtering out people’s values.

Did you ever have a friendship fall apart because of your financial differences?

 
I had a friend who was earning a lot of money as a banker and our friendship just disintegrated because I couldn’t keep up with her spending, and I didn’t know how to say that to her. And I just felt very pressured going out with her, because we’d always go to expensive places and have expensive cocktails. And we were earning different amounts and I had different financial priorities. She was able to buy a flat in her early 20s, and that was just not my position at all. I definitely understand what it’s like to not want to broach those topics. But now that I’m more comfortable doing so, a lot of my friendships are better too.

Do you have a lot of friends from varying economic backgrounds?

 
I do now. But when I was younger, most of my friends were from school, and most of them were quite affluent. And I didn’t think that mattered so much, until I realized how gratifying it can be to have friends with similar backgrounds to me, who really understand my attitudes towards money and the particular neuroses I have, which they also share. I need to have that outlet, to have those conversations. So I think it’s important to have friends who are in similar financial situations to you, so that you can talk about things honestly, to somebody who can relate. Just emotionally, as human beings, we need people who have shared experiences with us, as it relates to money as well. It’s worth seeking those friendships out.

Speaking of financial differences, I think the pandemic has really exacerbated a lot of financial extremes. And now, coming out of it, people are looking at their money and spending differently. And that can be tough to communicate to friends who want to get together and do things again, the way that we used to. How do you recommend handling that?

 
The first thing I would say, before you even bring your friends into the equation, is to personally get really clear on what your spending priorities are and what your new budget is. The easiest way to overspend, or to spend your money in ways you’re not happy with, is to not have a clear framework of what you should be spending, and what you are saving for. So the first exercise is to actually sit down and make a budget, look at your monthly income and ask yourself, Where do I want this to go? How much am I reserving for socializing? Because then, at the very least, you have something to refer back to as these plans come in, and you can say, Can I actually afford that or not?

From there, it’s about organizing your social calendar accordingly and bearing that budget in mind, as you say yes and no to certain things. And that also might require some kind of prioritization of certain friends, and just an awareness that if I say yes to this, that is going to mean saying no to something else down the line.

That said, I don’t want to encourage people to hold back and not throw themselves back into the world right now. Everyone wants to go out and do stuff. I’ve certainly been overspending with things opening back up. I totally get it, and I think it’s worth giving yourself a grace period. We’ve been shut in for a year and a half. Maybe for the next three months, saving up isn’t as much of a priority, because we have been in a pandemic. I also believe in treating yourself and enjoying life. You just need to have a realistic framework. And you need to bear in mind that you’ve now got expenses and costs happening that you haven’t had for the past 18 months. If you go out to dinner, don’t lie to yourself about how much it will cost.

Pandemic or not, though, it is important to get comfortable with saying, “I can’t afford this right now,” or “That’s not in my budget now,” or “I can’t do that this month, but do you want to fix a date for next month?” I promise you, it’s not as hard as it seems. It is actually like a muscle — the more you do it, the more you get comfortable with it, and it becomes natural. I’m now quite good at pulling back if I know that I’ve had an expensive month. I know that if I’ve been out for dinner a couple of times this month, I probably need to turn down that invitation and book it in for next month. It’s instinctive now, and I’m good at saying no — I have no shame in it, and my financial stability is my priority. But it takes a while to get to that point. It’s not necessarily sexy and spontaneous, but budgeting never is. There is an element of self-discipline that’s required for it.

What do you do when people get defensive about money, or react badly when you’re being transparent about it?

I think it’s good to expect a bit of irrationality around money. And I don’t judge that at all. I don’t expect everyone to operate the same way that I do. And I think that’s really important. I think it can be beneficial for people to be more open and transparent about money, but I also know that we’ve got a long way to go until people feel comfortable with that. There’s this perception about money transparency that’s like, “Just do it and it’ll be fine.” And I’m like, “No, it’s really emotional, it’s really tough, it’s really awkward.” I understand why people respond in the ways they do and become prickly and defensive when money comes up and they feel judged and ashamed. I have felt all those things. I still sometimes feel those things. I know I will continue to feel those things.

Happiness Is the New Rich. Inner Peace Is the New Success.

Happiness makes you rich 

 

Inner peace is when something bad happens and you’re happy about it.

 

 

Self-improvement isn’t the same anymore.

When I started writing seven years ago on a self-help website called Addicted2Success, it was all about the following:

• Get rich or die trying.
• Photos of luxury purchases.
• An obsession with hard work.
• Entrepreneurship as a religion.

Now, seven years on, Syed Balkhi said it best:

“Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.”

Happiness Is the New Rich

Money doesn’t make you happy. Read that again.

You’re smart and you already knew that. It’s some of the most cliche advice you will ever receive in your life. The focus in the self-help industry has shifted away from money in recent years. We’ve all read the headlines of a rich person who got famous and seems to have more problems than one could ever imagine.

Billie Eilish, Charlie Sheen, Ellen Degeneres, Chandler from the tv show Friends, Elon Musk and his bad jokes, former political power Donald Duck … Do you need me to keep going?

These people have plenty of money. They seem to be untouchable, yet they have all the problems of the world on their shoulders. They’re not happy — they’re endlessly chasing a form of happiness that doesn’t exist. Call it toxic happiness if you will.

The new generation of rich people doesn’t have money. They have found happiness. Where? In strange places they weren’t expecting.

That’s what happened to me. I found happiness after years of life-threatening mental illness. It came from a strange place: a blog about success. The blog wasn’t the cure. The blog was the start of a different way of thinking.

It took seven years to understand this is real happiness:

• Time to do what you want.
• A human character you’re proud to have created.
• A mission slightly bigger than yourself.
• A family you love and get to spend time with.

Money is an information system that lives in a boring excel spreadsheet. Happiness is a feeling you get when you look back on where you’re at in life and gently smile at how far you’ve come.

The new rich aren’t chasing money anymore. They’ve found real happiness through the cliche parts of life that are overlooked.

Inner Peace Is the New Success

Inner peace is the opposite of being stressed or anxious. You get inner peace by gaining perspective. Let me give you an example. I spoke to a guy from work. We disagreed about how to divide our customer portfolios. I told him this:

“You can have all the customer relationships you want. You can hoard them. But if you die tomorrow, how many of those customers will be at your funeral? And if one or two decide to come along, how long will it take for them to get over you and become somebody else’s customer? Answer: 48 hours at the most.”

This is perspective. The same scenario applies to your employer. If you were involved in a car accident and didn’t make it out alive, how long would it take your employer to replace you? Would they be emotional about it?

Nope.

They’d spawn up a new employee to sit in your office chair in no time at all. So why do you give more than 50% of your life to an employer and take the whole relationship seriously? They don’t care. They don’t lack empathy and they’re not unkind. It’s just that your employer has perspective on your role in their company and the value of your life.

Once you have perspective on what matters, your life changes.

Inner peace to me is having somebody run into my car and smiling at them.

“It’s okay. You didn’t mean it. You must be having a rough day. How about we do coffee and exchange license plates. We could even eat cheeseburgers.”

That’s inner peace. Something bad happens and you’re happy about it. Why? You expect bad things to happen. Bad things are part of life. People make mistakes. Cars fly off the road and into yours. People say things they don’t mean without thinking beforehand.

Jay Shetty is a former monk. He is one of the most famous personalities on the internet. The success of Jay Shetty is the result of all the years of inner peace he learned as a monk. I’m not joking when I say monks and teachers are the next generation of successful people.

Success used to be get more.
Success is now have less to get more inner peace.

When you take away stress and anxiety from life, your mind has room to breathe (figuratively speaking). You can see things other people can’t see. You can reflect on your life and join the dots of your future in an entirely different way. Success is simply living your life the way you were supposed to: in peace.

The inner peace of knowing you have enough and are enough, is a thought worth thinking deeply about.

Health Is the New Wealth

If you are young, then you’re a billionaire.

Warren Buffet is one of the richest investors in the world. He has lots of money, but not a lot of time left. His diet to this day includes Coca-Cola and McDonalds. Warren would do anything to trade some (or all) of his money for more time on earth. Warren is poor because time is against him. Life extension technology is still some time off.

When you see time as wealth, you won’t trade your time for money any longer. You will accumulate assets that help you buy your time back, and take the time you have and increase its value.

When I go to eat food, the first question I ask myself is, “Will this food give me energy or take away energy?” Energy leads to a better quality of life. When you’re healthy, you feel better. When you feel better, you feel wealthy. Wealth through health is an opportunity all of us have access to. How do you look after your health? You already know the answers.

Eat plants, exercise daily, practice mindfulness, focus on the present, protect your sleep, spend time in nature, build strong human bonds with others.

Kindness Is the New Cool

Selfishness ruled the world when I began using social media. It was all about how much you could extract from the internet for yourself. Bragging and selfies dominated. Showing off was standard. Being rude to people in the comments section was acceptable and expected.

Then the online selfishness movement quietly changed.

The trend started on Youtube with channels such as “That was Epic.” Then kindness infected Zucks’ empire, Facebook, through pages such as Humankind and Try Not To Cry. Even on you-must-keep-a-straight-face-and-be-professional platforms like LinkedIn have their own kindness movements.

Why is kindness the new cool? Duh … it feels good.

It’s our secret naughty fantasy. We shouldn’t love kindness. It feels tacky, gimmicky even. But kindness, no matter how small, makes you feel something. You can’t resist being attracted to kindness if you are human.

Self-help brought kindness back in fashion. Let’s help to keep it that way with small acts of random kindness wherever possible.

Closing Thought

What is timeless always comes back in fashion. The problem is, humanity forgets about what matters. All it takes is a global event such as a pandemic to bring us back together again.

Don’t become obsessed with money. Focus on the removal of unhelpful forms of stress and your version of happiness. Don’t spend the majority of your time in the future with your thoughts. Come back to the present to find inner peace. Don’t trade your energy for garbage inputs.

See energy as health, and health as true wealth. Trade money for health. Health buys you more time. Lastly, trade selfishness for small moments of selflessness. If you can learn to go beyond your own survival, you can discover higher levels of living.

The self-improvement movement finally came full circle.
Rich people are those who are happy.

The good life is happiness money can’t buy.

Written by

Tim Denning

Aussie Blogger with 100M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship — timdenning.com/wc