Style doesn't have to be expensive or take a lot of time
Jan 3 · 9 min read
One
of the unfortunate realities of the world we live in is that even
though we know we shouldn’t, we judge other people based on their
appearance. Here and there you find a rare soul who has learned to look
past appearance, but for the most part, people are going to judge you
based on what you look like whether or not they should.
Most
of the time, this doesn’t matter. But sometimes it does — like when
you’re interviewing for your dream job, when you’re going on first
dates, and when you’re stopped by police officers for speeding. The
impression you make in situations like these can have a real, measurable
outcome in the quality of your life.
For
a long time, I knew nothing about style. I wore clothes that didn’t
fit, that were too small or too large, that were ratty, mismatched, and
generally just not something in which I should leave the house.
Obviously,
the clothes I wore on the outside didn’t determine who I was on the
inside — but they sure as heck determined what people thought. Once I
figured out how to dress myself in clothes that fit and matched well, my
life changed in surprising ways. I started being offered jobs at trendy
companies downtown, professors wanted me in their private seminars, and
people wanted to take me on dates, because I now looked the part.
The good news is, style can also be fun. You can still use clothes to express your unique inner self and
make a good impression on those who matter. You don’t have to keep up
with fashion or know the latest trends (I certainly don’t). All it takes
is knowing a few timeless guidelines:
1. Only wear clothing you find comfortable.
No
one looks good if their clothing is uncomfortable. Why? Because people
walk differently in uncomfortable clothing. When you’re wearing
uncomfortable clothing, you’re constantly adjusting it. You’re walking
funny to compensate for how uncomfortable it is.
Most
importantly, when you wear uncomfortable clothing, you’re constantly
thinking about when you get to go home and take off your uncomfortable
clothing and put on some damn pajamas. That kind of distraction will
make any work or social event unpleasant and will make you more likely
to cut and run. Do yourself a favor, and only wear clothes that are comfortable enough that you forget you’re wearing them.
2. Wear clothes that fit
Of
all the style sins out there, this one is probably the worst. It
doesn’t matter how cute a shirt is, what a great color it is, or how
trendy it is if it doesn’t fit, because if it doesn’t fit, it won’t look good(1).
How can you tell if something fits?
Typically,
to ensure something fits, you buy the smallest size you can fit on your
body that still allows you a full range of motion. For pants, you
should buy the smallest size that still allows you to squat, twist, kick
out your legs, or lounge comfortably. For shirts and coats, you should
buy the smallest size that still allows you to raise your arms, clasp
your hands in front of and behind your back, and otherwise provides you
full flexibility. Your clothing should make you look good and flatter
your form without being painted on your body or causing you pain at the
joints and seams.
Clothing
that fits tends not to be too wide at your arms and waist. Clothing
that fits is an inch or two wider than your body at the openings for the
arm and waist, but isn’t billowing.
Furthermore,
clothing should be able to stay on your body without an unnecessary
amount of belts, straps, buttons, or zips being done (or undone). If you
need to wear a waist belt with that shirt in order
to make it look good, the shirt is too big. (The obvious exception here
is belts for men’s pants).
If clothing has
belts/straps/buttons/zips/fasteners of any kind, you should be able to
fasten them all up without issue (unless they are intentionally designed
not to be fastened). You shouldn’t own jeans for which you can’t button
the top button or coats for which you can’t button the bottom one.
Just because you think it fits, doesn’t mean it does
Most
of the people I’ve met who wear clothes that don’t fit can’t tell they
don’t fit. They’ve always worn clothing that’s too big their whole life,
so they feel like clothing that fits is constricting and uncomfortable.
To
check and make sure you’re not one of these people, just head to the
store and apply the above fit rules. If you find that one size smaller
still allows you a full range of motion, chances are the clothes you’ve
been wearing are too big.
3. Pick the right shoes
The
one thing that can bring an outfit down most quickly is shoes. If
someone is wearing a three-piece suit and muddy sneakers, they will look
bad — but if they are wearing track pants, a gray tee, and brand-new
Air Jordans, they will look good.
Use this principle to your advantage, and pick good shoes. No, I don’t mean pick expensive shoes — it’s easy to find sharp shoes for cheap prices if you know where to look. I mean pick good shoes.
Here are some guidelines for picking good shoes:
- The soles of your shoes should be white, not yellowed (if they are yellowed, it’s easy to make them white again)
- The laces, if there are laces, should not be fraying (shoelaces are inexpensive on Amazon)
- The color of your shoes (or laces) should not be washed out or faded
- If your shoes are leather, the leather should be clean (cleaning leather is also easy)
- If your shoes are fabric, there should not be any spots where the fabric is wearing through
Notice that nowhere on this list do I mention brand-name or expensive
shoes. You don’t need to be wearing $200 shoes to own shoes that look
good. The leather sneakers I wear every day came from a resale shop for
$14 (and they are a Target brand, meaning they weren’t more than $50
when they were new), yet people compliment them often.
4. Avoid clothes that are worn out.
Are
your sleeves fraying at the hems? Are your novelty tee designs
cracking? Are your jeans ratty at the cuffs? If you have any clothes
like that, it might be time to make them pajamas instead.
You may not notice these things because they’re your
clothes, but other people will. It’s not as if people will spot these
flaws and judge you harshly, but it will contribute to an air of being
unkempt and ruffled — and if you’re reading an article about how to
appear stylish, I doubt that’s what you want.
5. Avoid dated styles
I’m
not saying you have to buy new clothes every year to keep up with every
stupid fashion trend, but do try to stay abreast of the major style
changes going on in our culture. For instance:
- Slim-fit jeans have been in style for the last seven years, and probably will be for the next seven as well. If you have any boot cut or flare jeans in your closet, it’s time to let them go.
- Square-toed shoes are a trend, and they’re a trend that has been out of style since the late nineties. Round-toed shoes, on the other hand, are a classic that never go out of style.
- Cargo shorts — and indeed, any shorts that extend below the knee — haven’t been in since the nineties. If you’re a man with long shorts in his closet, it’s time to switch them out for something that ends at the knee instead.
If
you’re wondering what is and isn’t dated, just take a look at what
people age 25–30 are wearing. People in that age group are typically old
enough that they aren’t taken in by stupid fashion trends, but young
enough that there aren’t clothes from the nineties hiding in their
closet.
One of my basic observations about style is people wear what’s in their closet that’s most comfortable. In
other words, people tend to select the clothes in their closet that are
minimally acceptable for a given occasion, but maximally comfortable.
If a woman is going out for the night with her friends, she’s going to
select the top that is very comfortable but mildly flattering over the
top that is very flattering but mildly comfortable.
This
is because humans have a limited amount of willpower, and we tend to
avoid using willpower for decisions we make routinely; decisions like,
say, what to wear. When we set an intention to dress
in a more stylish way, we are facing this natural inclination to wear
what is most comfortable.
The
solution I’ve found is to work with this natural inclination by only
stocking my closet with things I find both highly stylish and highly
comfortable.
The good news is that you probably already have everything you need in your closet.
Most people own far more clothes than they wear regularly, which means
that you can craft a stylish wardrobe from what you already own.
When
you have some time, gather up all the clothes you own — yes, all of
them, even the things in storage — and ask two questions of them:
- Is this comfortable?
The answer to this question is not to try it on right now, but to ask
yourself how frequently you wear it. Comfortable clothing gets worn
often, and uncomfortable clothing doesn’t.
Another way to answer this question is to ask yourself how often you notice wearing this clothing. Do you ever have to pull at the sleeves, or at the crotch, to relieve discomfort? Or does the clothing seem to disappear onto your body when you’re wearing it? - Is this the kind of thing you want to see yourself wearing? If you saw a photo of yourself wearing this, would you feel good about your appearance? If you had one chance to impress a potential partner, would you feel good wearing this?
Anything which does not get a resounding “fuck yes” is a “no,” and all “no” items should be donated or sold to resale shops at your earliest convenience.
This
may inspire a bit of anxiety, or perhaps a bit of guilt. You may find
yourself donating a lot of clothes, and feel anxious about how much
you’re getting rid of, or perhaps frustrated that you’ve spent so much
money on clothing only to now be getting rid of it all.
Unfortunately,
all I have to say is: yes, it hurts, but it’s worth it. (In the future,
you can avoid this pain by purchasing clothes pre-owned, which allows
you to get a hold of nearly-new condition clothes for a fraction of the
cost).
A Quick Note About Men’s Style
If
I may generalize, most of the people I’ve met who violate these style
rules are men. Women seem to be better at intuitively understanding
style rules than men, in no small part because we are punished far more
harshly for not knowing. In my experience, a man who wears ratty clothes
that don’t fit can still succeed in both professional and romantic
capacities, while a woman who wears ratty clothes that don’t fit
typically fails in both. A man who wears old and dated clothes can still
be seen as a competent provider and viable romantic partner, while a
woman who wears old and dated clothes is seen in a much less flattering
light.
Style
is simply a necessity for success for women in a way it isn’t for men.
As a result, women who put effort into appearing stylish generally
appear to be ‘typical’ women, whereas men who put effort into appearing
stylish come off as stylish, sophisticated men.
If
you’re a man, this is good news. It means that investing even a small
effort into your style will reap major rewards. If you’re a woman, it
means… nothing good, unfortunately. I’m sorry.
At the end of the day, unless you’re running for President as a woman, style doesn’t matter that
much. There are many things that are more important in this world than
appearance, and most people appreciate that (on some level). But you
will get farther with good style than without.
