“Life together” feels kind of subjective, right?
What makes you happy won’t be the same as what makes me happy. One person could strive off climbing the corporate ladder while you could be thrilled working at your local coffee shop.
So no, this won’t be a generic guide on how to make your life fit into the stereotypical mold of what society deems “the dream.” This article is to help you live a life that’s authentic to you in the most effective way possible.
Because, if we’re honest here, without a little effort and organization, life can quickly get ahead of us. We can feel lost in the chaos. Like we’re barely treading water instead of flowing with the current.
That’s because life is an unpredictable journey. You can’t prepare for what you don’t know is coming. But what you can do is set yourself up for the best possible chances for success.
With a few tiny changes to your habits, you can feel like you’re floating with life rather than fighting against it. You can finally “get your life together” in ways that feel authentic to you.
What are those tiny changes? Let’s dive into them based on the different aspects of your life they can help:
Mental Health
Write things down.
We’re said to have at least 12,000 thoughts a day. Numerous studies show our thoughts affect our reality and, therefore, our mental health.
If you don’t take inventory of your thoughts, they can slowly eat away at your happiness. Once you feel consumed by self-criticism, doubt, and negative thoughts, it’s hard to accomplish much of anything, ever.
So I pose to you this: start writing your thoughts down. It can be as simple as a few stream-of-consciousness sentences in the morning. Or perhaps you journal what you’re struggling with most. Maybe ever start a gratitude practice to bring some positivity into your life.
Stop wasting time on things that don’t add to your life.
You don’t need to say yes to everything, plain and simple. In fact, agreeing to every plan that comes your way may make you feel like you’re less connected to your life, simply because others dictate your schedule.
It’s OK to say no to your co-worker’s holiday party. You can let your friend know that you can’t make it to their gender reveal party because you need to take that day on other things.
Once you stop allocating your time to everyone but yourself, you can finally do the things that feel like they’re piling up, like building that Ikea nightstand that’s been sitting in your room for months.
Or simply relax. Sometimes, we all need a day off to unplug, disconnect, and do whatever we please.
Reflect more.
If you don’t reflect on your life, you’re bound to make mistakes or choices that hurt you over and over. What brought you to the point you’re currently at is the culmination of your past.
So when was the last time you learned from it?
I changed my love life by taking note of what went wrong in my relationships. I found a career I love by considering how much fulfillment I felt in my past jobs. I worked through bouts of depression by making peace with painful memories.
But I wouldn't have accomplished any of that had I not taken the time to reflect on how my life had gone thus far. The same applies to your situation. If you want to feel like you’ve got your life together finally, consider what lessons you can learn from the life you’ve already lived.
Work
If you want to make moves, make plans.
I mentioned above that I changed careers. And that wasn’t even the first time. I’ve changed careers twice in the short time I’ve been alive.
But let me be clear: I wouldn’t have been able to make either of these changes without a plan. I took a coding course to gain that skillset, and I worked as a nanny until I made enough money from writing that I could do it full-time.
If you want to make big moves in your professional life, you need the stepping stones to get there. Sit down, plan those out, and then move forward towards something more rewarding for you.
Eat the frog.
I came across this term when my friend and fellow writer,
, posted it on Instagram. When you wake up each morning, start your day with the hardest or most annoying thing on your to-do list.When you’re hung up on the things you need to do but don’t want to do, you’re more likely to procrastinate. That scroll through Instagram becomes a scroll through TikTok, which somehow ends up with you binge-watching The Office.
See what I’m getting at? When you tackle the hardest parts of your to-do list (or life in general), you feel more motivated to accomplish other things rather than putting them off.
Make schedules the night or week before.
Whether this applies to your full-time job, side hustle, or fledgling career aspirations, save yourself some time and headache; make schedules. There’s nothing that eases my foggy morning brain, like knowing exactly what I need to get done that day.
If you find it hard to start your mornings or don’t know how to organize your days to fit in all your goals, adopt the idea of schedules. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy complicated. I keep mine in the Notes app on my phone.
That way, each morning, you’ll be able to hit the ground running, rather than feel overwhelmed by having everything and nothing to do.
Physical Health
Get more sleep.
When you’re deprived of sleep, you’re in a worse mood, make crappier decisions, and your memory is impaired. It’s not a badge of honor to boast that you only slept four hours; it’s shooting yourself in the foot.
Prioritizing my sleep is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. At the very least, I know that being cranky and exhausted won’t be an issue when I’m enjoying life and working through my goals.
Experts suggest getting an average of 8 hours of sleep per night. Begin prioritizing your time in bed and watch your overall mood about life begin to change.
Use the Pomodoro Technique.
The fact that humans sit for hours and hours during the time they’re awake is slowly killing us all. But I understand to an extent; most of us have to sit to get our work done.
But what you can control is how long you sit. So I want to introduce to you the Pomodoro Technique. The method is used to instill a sense of urgency in people to improve productivity, but I want you to implement it to improve your health.
Every 25 minutes, stand up and stretch. If you can, walk around your apartment or work desk. The goal is to break up how long you sit for, rather than being slumped over in a chair for hours of your day.
See a doctor.
You know that ache in your back you’ve been having for months? Or that mole you’ve been meaning to get checked but are too afraid to? Or the fact you feel dizzy easily when you stand up?
It’s finally time to stop putting it off and see a doctor. Part of getting your life together is being in your best physical health. But you can’t do that if it’s been years since you last saw a doctor, dentist, etc.
Scheduling an appointment is essentially eating the frog of your over-arching life to-do list. Once it’s over, you’re going to feel a lot more at ease.
Relationships
Talk about your feelings more.
There will never come a day when you’ll regret learning how to talk about your feelings with those closest to you. You’ll strengthen your relationships and move through any resentments that might be lingering.
You’d be surprised how much more fulfilling your relationships are, friends and family included, when you can talk about deeper things than what’s been going on with sports lately. Or the fact you’ve been “fine” whenever someone asks how you’ve been.
So the next time you’re talking with someone, don’t shy away from speaking up about your experiences and how people affect you. Sure, you might be met with some resistance at first, but it’ll be better for all your relationships in the long run.
Learn better conflict skills.
Everyone argues, plain and simple. In relationships. In families. At work. Between co-workers.
But when you learn better conflict skills, you can take a disagreement from a full-out fight to a constructive argument. Plus, your relationship with that person will sustain less injury from doing so.
This looks like learning how to communicate issues without name-calling, deflecting blame, or belittling someone. It’s learning to solve problems with a team mindset, rather than pitting yourself against everyone.
Listen with intent.
How good are you at listening to people? I’m not just talking about hearing what someone says. I want to know how much you process, understand, and empathize with the people in your life.
Because not many people do this.
Between having our attention span glued to our phones and always wanting to get the next word in, not many people have solid listening skills. You’ll strengthen the bond with people closest to you when you learn to silence distractions and listen with intent.
When you start implementing these tiny changes into your life, you’ll start to notice a domino effect. Improving your health makes you a better friend. Being a better friend helps your mental health. Your mental health improves your work-life. And so on.
These might be tiny changes, but they’re powerful. Because, with only one life to live, there’s no better time to get it together in a way that feels authentic to you, then the present.
No comments:
Post a Comment