Coronavirus has somewhat shown us the value of people, on the one hand, the amazing helpers, on the other, those who stockpiled goodies as if there was no tomorrow with no regard for their fellow humans who were perhaps more in need. It pays to assess carefully who you surround yourself with!
This is how you find people who add value to your life.
Finding people for your team, to do life with, is hard work.
But cultivating this skill will help you surround yourself with people who can take you to the next level.
“Who
you spend time with is who you become.” You can be intentional about
those people by focusing on a refined list of qualities. I credit most
of what I have done as a writer to the people I surround myself with.
It’s hard to achieve any huge goal on your own. Do life with other
people.
These are the traits to look for to attract amazing humans into your life.
Look for how generous they are
Selfish people aren’t fun to be around.
If they’re selfish to others, they’ll be selfish to you. When you need them, they’ll be looking for an incentive. Search out those brave souls who aren’t always about adding to their own bank balance.
Look
for random acts of kindness. See what they do when they have a good
payday. Do they give some of their time away for free or is every hour
of their time billable with a Mastercard?
Notice how they talk about homeless people
How a person treats homeless people is important.
If
a person is down on their luck and they feel nothing for them, run.
Pack your bags. Put your sneakers on and get the hell out of the cafe!
Run for your life. Homeless people need a break or at the very least,
some empathy. A homeless person could be you or me.
Nobody is too popular to lose everything.
I once met a CEO of a large financial services business with billions in revenue that I will never forget until the day I die.
He
found out there were homeless people using the toilets and shower in
the lobby to freshen up. The building staff locked the toilets to keep
them out. He said one line to change their mind: “Is that the best you
can do?” The staff made the decision by themselves to open the bathroom
up again and schedule an extra clean.
Look for a person who treats homeless people like family.
Look at their friends to learn what they’re like
Is everybody on their Instagram in a bikini or flexing their six-pack? That will tell you what they care about.
A
person’s friends is a big clue about who they are. They may not be like
their friends, but they’re unconsciously learning from them the more
they hang out. One of my friends is a popular writer. His friend group
is full of writers who have sold more books than I could ever hope to
sell. It’s obvious how he learned the tools of the trade when it comes
to writing: the majority of his friends are writers. It was only a
matter of time.
Each of these writers is kind and that’s the sort of writer he’s becoming.
See how they act during a moment of success
Look
at how a person acts during their moment of glory. Does success get to
their head? Do they think they know everything? Do they talk down to
others who haven’t reached their delusional level?
A
person can be humble on the way up, but how do they act when the
spotlight is on them? A lot of the time this has been a trait in people
that has disappointed me.
Behind the scenes, many of the people you admire are assholes.
I met Gary Vee
not long ago in person. To my surprise, he was a nice guy and acted the
way his social media posts suggest he does. Even with the world
watching, somehow, he has managed to keep a level of humility.
Look for humility and you’ll find a person who is going to do big things.
Notice how they see the world
Get
someone to explain to you how they see the world. How do they describe
it? Is everything screwed or is their opportunity everywhere? Do they
focus mostly on the negative or the positive?
If
someone sees the world as full of chaos and likely to collapse, and you
don’t, they’re probably not going to be helpful in your life. But,
don’t dismiss them 100%. See what you can learn from other people’s
views of the world, even if theirs doesn’t agree with yours. You can
choose not to surround yourself with a person and still learn from a
stranger.
Try to look for people who see inspiration in everything they do.
What do they do when you ask them a bizarre question
A sense of curiosity is important. Curiosity leads to a beautifully open mind.
Give
them a few bizarre questions. Ask them about what they believe
consciousness is. Ask them about the film “The Matrix” and its
similarities to real life.
Go down the rabbit hole on a subject; be Alice.
If
they are curious and are open to the conversation, fantastic. If they
are quick to dismiss the bizarre or the esoteric, question whether their
curiosity could lead to a closed mind and, therefore, a mind that won’t
listen when you need it to.
Curious people can help you imagine solutions to your problems.
Knowing
what to look for is half the battle when choosing people to enter your
life. Choose who you surround yourself with carefully.
Use these traits as a mini-application process to get people who will help you reach your goals, not tell you they’re stupid.
When
you find kind, generous, humble, curious people, your whole world
changes. These amazing humans will become part of your inevitable
success.
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