I
was in a small, unfussy coffee shop close to my cottage in rural Nova
Scotia when I saw the poster advertising a women’s empowerment retreat
at a rustic lodge on the shores of the warm Northumberland Strait.
I’ve
become increasingly curious about the growing interest in new-age
spiritualism, and in particular, how women are seemingly using it as a
way to address chronic dissatisfaction. Without knowing exactly what I
would get out of it I contacted the retreat organizers to ask if I could
attend the weekend’s events. Two weeks later I was sitting in a chair
with my eyes closed in the middle of a log-walled room. Around me,
dozens of women circled, taking turns whispering affirmations into my
ear: “You are brave. You are loved. You are special.” Even as I rolled
my eyes, I felt myself start to cry.
“Oh god,” I thought. “It’s working.”
I felt simultaneously defeated and relieved.
The
retreat, called “I Am Worth It,” was hosted by three wellness
practitioners: a healing touch specialist, a reflexology therapist, and a
naturopathic doctor. In addition to healthy meals, beach walks, and
yoga, there were guided sessions that addressed letting go of past hurt,
setting intentions, prioritizing self-care,
and harnessing “energy centers.” It costs around $333 per person to
attend. The duration of the retreat is two days. Rooms were shared.
Over
the course of the two days, from early morning until well into the
evening, women shared stories, exhaled a lot, dabbed their eyes with
tissues, and formed a drumming circle under the full moon. Throughout we
received advice from the practitioners, intended to help budge
participants out of a rut once they returned home: make sure to get out
into nature, light some scented candles while soaking in a deep tub,
observe your chakras, and tell your mirrored reflection “you’re
beautiful” over and over until you start to believe it. We whispered
affirmations in each other’s ears. At some point the naturopath
explained that she tells clients, “We’re not going to talk about weight
loss, but about how your parents treated you when you were little.”
It was a rollercoaster of practical and obscure, out-there woo woo nonsense and disarmingly astute observation.
Wellness
retreats are nothing new. Since the 2nd century B.C. and its Roman
baths, people have fled to spas and health-minded resorts in an attempt
to feel better. These early incarnations eventually evolved into the spa
model of Golden Door in San Marcos, California, and Canyon Ranch in
Tucson, Arizona, both of which offered opulent surroundings coupled with
rigorous training geared toward weight loss and physical
transformation. By the mid 2000s yoga retreats filled up Instagram feeds
with photos of virtuous-looking activities, sun salutations on the
beach, and fit people inhaling huge amounts of avocado.
And
today’s retreat culture has moved past the “lose weight, feel great”
mentality, beyond a week of yoga and vegan meals in Puerto Vallarta, and
squarely into the realm of self-empowerment.
These new retreat
goers aren’t focused on losing weight, rehabbing, or escaping their
problems. They’re packing their emotional baggage and heading to places
like Renew Breakup Bootcamp
in upstate New York, a broken-heart retreat that helps women address
subconscious patterns that keep them from the love they really deserve.
At a Purpose in Paris
retreat, participants cast negative self-talk into the Seine and make
“self-worth vows” at the iconic lovelock bridge. In Miami, there are
vision-boarding and manifesting retreats to help pinpoint “limiting beliefs” and evict the “resident shit-talker living in your head.” And one Costa Rica retreat
combines self-defense, mindfulness, and self-care with the promise that
“your inner warrior princess is waiting to be unleashed into the
world.”
“I believe people are understanding their need to turn
focus inward and shine a light on the dark parts of themselves that
maybe they weren't willing to face before,” says Jennifer Sembler, whose Yemanya Travel company
offers retreats for women with “a 360-degree approach to mind, body,
and spirit,” including hiking, meditation, and life coaching sessions.
“This search for inner peace and truth is one of the driving forces
behind this retreat movement,” she says.
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