“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher founder of Taoism, an ancient Chinese philosophy. It emphasizes doing what is natural and going with the “flow”. Little is truly known about Lao Tzu, but what we do know is that he wrote some of his wisdom in the text Tao Te Ching, a sacred Taoist text with writings from other philosophers too.
What strikes me the most is how these people, who lived thousands of years ago, already had figured out the core principles to a happy life. They faced different problems and circumstances than we do today, but their wisdom can still be applied to our lives and it has the potential to change the way we think about the world and ourselves.
Lao Tzu offers some profound lessons on how to live a happier life and achieve our goals.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
This quote touches on a fundamental part of personal improvement and growth.
Often, fear holds us back from trying something new. You might come up with several excuses to not get out of your comfort zone, like “I don’t have time” or “I’m fine just the way I am”.
But deep within you, you know you are afraid to take action because you don’t want to fail.
I get it. I feel like that too, and in the past, fear has stopped me from doing things I really wanted to do. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you decide to take action and see the long road of improving your life that waits ahead.
The good thing is, you don’t have to think about that long road or make a radical change in your life to see improvements. Instead, start taking small steps.
How to apply it:
Take small steps towards your dream life. It doesn’t matter how small it is, the important thing is to get started and start building momentum.
The key to success is consistency, so start adopting healthy habits to improve your life. There are a variety of healthy habits you can choose and you’ll want to stick to them to reap their benefits.
How do you do that?
Start by performing the easiest version of your desired habit.
- Want to read more books? Start by reading 5 pages a day
- Want to journal? Write down your thoughts for 5 minutes every day
- Want to be fit and healthy? Start going to the gym once a week or do exercises that require the minimum effort at home
Start small, then gradually increase the amount of time you spend on those habits.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them — that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
Whenever things don’t go our way, we get frustrated and sometimes angry. It’s totally normal to feel this way and is even expected from you.
Personally, I don’t like change, especially when those changes trigger negative emotions. But the crude reality is that our lives are constantly changing and evolving. We have little control over the external world, so it makes sense to stop resisting these changes.
Of course, that’s easier said than done.
I resisted changes in my life by dwelling on the past and focusing only on the negative side of them. If you act like that, you are going to feel unhappy and lost in your life.
How to apply it:
Let reality be reality. Adapt to the new changes and try to see the positive side in the long term. It’s okay to feel mad and grieve at first, depending on the type of change.
But don’t stay there for too long because it will get harder to get out of that negative state of mind. Negative emotions are inevitable. We all feel sad or stressed at some point in our lives because of a certain situation or event.
But you can’t let those emotions define you, what you need to do is interpret those emotions into positive feelings.
Ask yourself:
“What did I learn from this situation?”
“How can it benefit me in the future?”
“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
Practicing gratitude is one of the best ways to feel happy with yourself and your life.
You need to have a positive image of yourself if you want to achieve your goals. And you also need to feel content with the things you have in the present.
Some people have more than others, but the mere fact that you can read this because you have a computer and an internet connection is something you need to be truly grateful for.
Gratitude has many benefits. One that I really like is that it improves your mental health and gives you more clarity. When you have a consistent gratitude practice, toxic emotions like frustration or resentment start to affect you less and less over time.
How to apply it:
Adopt a gratitude habit. There are many ways to do that. For example, every evening I think about three things I’m grateful for that day.
It can be anything, the point is that you need to feel genuinely grateful for them. Maybe you feel grateful for a movie you watched, for reading a chapter of your book, watching the sunset, or taking a walk. It helps to remember how those situations made you feel. Try to recreate them in your mind.
If you want to upgrade that practice, you can think about three things you are grateful for about yourself.
Maybe you liked how engaged you were in a conversation you had with someone, or maybe you are content because you trusted yourself to make a decision. Again, it can be anything, just remember to feel genuinely grateful about them.
“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.”
We’ve been taught that talkative and outgoing people are the ones that are successful in life. That’s why people often speak and say things without thinking about them.
People prefer to talk over listening because it’s human nature. We feel we are contributing more when we talk. And who wouldn’t like to contribute more to the world?
The problem is, we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply. We are eager to share our thoughts and opinions as soon as the other person stops talking. But there is so much you can learn when you just listen intentionally.
Besides, when you are a good listener, it makes the person who is speaking to you feel loved and worthy of being heard. They’ll want to be around you more.
How to apply it:
You probably already know how to apply this one. Listen more and speak less.
Whenever you are having a conversation with someone, try to focus all your attention on what they are saying. Ask them questions about how they feel and their motivations.
Don’t interrupt. Wait until that person is done talking before you respond. Over time, you will realize how much more rewarding it is to listen rather than speaking whatever comes to your mind.
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
For many years l cared too much about what other people thought about me. It’s normal to care about the opinion of other people. Sometimes, we need to care about what other people think, otherwise we’d do whatever we want and probably be disliked by everyone.
It becomes a problem when you start to obsessively care about what other people think about you.
You try to impress people, show them how amazing you are and before you know it, you’ll hide your authentic self, you’ll make decisions only to please others and you stop living your life in the way you want it.
How to apply it:
I know it might sound cliche, but be yourself.
Embrace your weirdness. That’s what makes you unique and stand out. Don’t be afraid to do things or think differently from others and take decisions most people won’t approve of.
As long as it doesn’t hurt you and other people and that’s what makes you happy, do it. No one knows you better than you do, so stop trying to please or caring what other people think about you.
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